A Hello Kitty Motorcycle

3yo

When I grow up and become an adult, you have to buy me a motorcycle.

*Pause*

A Hello Kitty motorcycle.

Coffee Makes You Grow Up Big and Strong

Me
What are you feeding your baby doll?
3yo
“Baby coffee.”
Me
Coffee is for adults.
3yo
This is “baby coffee.” It’s for babies.
Me
Oh, I see. Why are you giving your baby doll baby coffee?
3yo
Because you drink it to make you grow up big and strong, and it will make baby grow up big and strong too.

Aye Yai Yai

Mommy
Eat your food.
3yo
You gave me too much.
Mommy
I gave you what you asked for.
3yo
But this is too much, aye yai yai!
Daddy
Who taught you “aye yai yai”?
3yo
Mommy’s friend.

With Sass

3yo
*Turns on all the lights in her room*
Me
It’s bedtime. These lights have to be off.
3yo
*With sass* Seriously?

Farting Makes It Feel Better

3yo is constipated. We give her prune juice, but she has a better suggestion:

3yo:
Farting makes it feel better.

Learning New Vocabulary

Mommy:
You put the tea bag into hot water to brew the tea. It’s called steeping. See, you’re learning new vocabulary.
3yo:
WHAAAT

A Carrot

3yo:
Daddy, Daddy look a carrot!
Me:
Where?
3yo:
In here!
Me:
*Looks around, finds 3yo on the potty* Um, where?
3yo:
In my poop!

Strong Daddy

3yo:
Daddy, can you pick mei mei up?
Me
*Picks up baby sister*
3yo:
Wow Daddy, you’re so strong!

Thank You for Being a Good Girl

Me:
Thank you for being a good girl.
3yo:
Why?
Me:
Because you put away your toys.
3yo:
So I can have a snack now?

Drive Fast on a Highway and Drive Slow on a?

3yo:
Daddy, why are you driving fast?
Me:
Because we’re on a highway.
3yo:
Oh… so we drive slow on a low-way?