Zach looked down the waitress' dress as she bent over to refill his beer. "Nice, thanks babe." She smiled and brushed back a lock of hair before walking away.

"That was obnoxious. How the hell to you get away with bullshit like that?" asked Kyle. He shook his head and tossed down a gulp of beer.

"Chicks love that kind of thing, dog." Zach smirked. "They like to know they're being desired, know what I mean?"

"Being desired is one thing. Being lusted after is another."

Jobe regarded his friends. "She still smiled at him though. I guess she didn't mind."

"I think we're giving you the wrong impression here." Kyle turned to Jobe. "That's not how you treat a lady, you know."

Zach laughed. "Yea, you buy her flowers, serenade her under her bedroom window, and ask her father for her hand in marriage. All this just to get laid, huh?"

Jobe blinked, looking around the table.

"Very crass." Kyle rebutted. "Listen Jobe, take your advice from me. You need to romance a woman before you can win her heart."

"Romance my ass. Yo dog, here's what's up. Romance is way overrated." Kyle shook his head but Zach continued on. "Chicks want a real man. Not a man who's going to hide behind some flowers, but a man with real balls; a man that can take care of them."

"That's the wrong perspective. I guarantee you that the majority of the ladies out there do not want that. Heck, that's why romance movies do so well, because they seek the lack of romance in their lives."

Jobe scratched his head. "I don't get it."

"Do you think a lady will really let you make love to her just because you stare at her breasts and call her 'babe'?"

"You crack me up sometimes, dog, you really do." Zach laughed and chugged some more beer.

"Do you really have to do so much just to go out with a girl?" Jobe asked.

"Well, there's always a certain amount of effort. It's just a matter of directing your energies in the most respectable right way."

"That's the wimpy way. Chicks will see right through that." Zach leaned forward. "Look, we're after the same shit, right? We're both aiming to get laid. You just do it indirectly while I do it more directly."

"No, the difference is that I do it respectfully and you don't."

Jobe looked at his beer. "What if your aim isn't to get laid?"

Kyle and Zach blinked silently at their friend, mouths open with unformed words.

Jobe rubbed his chin nervously. "Uh, what I mean is, what if you just like a girl and want to, you know, just talk to her or something."

"Yo dog, you have a dick, don't you?"

"What our crass friend here is saying is that maybe you're being a little short-sighted, Jobe." Kyle added, taking another gulp of beer.

"Short-sighted?" Jobe asked.

The waitress came by again. "Can I refill your glasses?"

"Yea babe, right here." Zach pointed to his glass. She smiled and leaned over again.

"Are you looking down my dress again?" she asked.

Zach leaned back slowly, grinning. "Just admiring your beauty, babe."

She looked over at Kyle. "You admiring my beauty too, or my tits?"

"Your eyes. They're enchanting," he replied.

"Sorry about my friends," Jobe said under his breath while looking down at his beer.

She smiled and leaned over to whisper in his ear. "That's okay. I get assholes like that all the time. But I know that if I throw them a blank smile, they'll leave a good tip." She winked at him and walked away.

. . .

Do you know what women want?