Mar
4
2007

What a Car Says About a Guy

Categories: Best Of, Car & Driving, Guys

“So you must be single?” asked the dealer with a grin.

I chuckled. “Yea. Is it that obvious?”

He patted the dashboard. “Yup. Married guys don’t usually buy convertibles.”

He was the third dealer to tell me that. So I wondered: What does a car say about a guy?

Convertible
Single guy who likes the outdoors, feeling the sun on his face and the wind in his hair. Probably really handsome and smart (heh).
Sports car
Single guy (or married guy going through a midlife crisis) who likes driving really fast and breaking the law. To him, speed limits are optional.
Luxury car
Guy with money who appreciates the finer things in life. Or a guy pretending to be a guy with money.
Luxury sports car
Married guy with money going through a midlife crisis. Likes the feeling of the sun on his face and the wind on his thinning or bald head.
Mini
Some say a car is an extension of a guy’s you-know-what. So what’s that say about a guy with a Mini? (Ha!)
Sedan
Married guy with kids. What more can I say about that?
Coupe
Single guy who’s practical and modest. Can’t afford a nicer car at the moment. Is probably thinking about driving this car to the ground before buying another one.
Modified Japanese Coupe
Young guy with a big ego and a small penis. Thinks he’s tough shit.
Pickup Truck
Working guy who has to haul cargo often. Or a guy who likes to drink beer, shoot little animals, and play a banjo by the river.
Minivan
Married guy who didn’t get the memo about SUVs being the new minivans of the twenty-first century.
SUV
Guy who likes the outdoors (like camping, snowboarding, etc), yet hates the outdoors (because of his gas guzzling SUV).
Hybrid
Guy who’s trying to help the environment and driving in the carpool lane. Might suffer from a case of Smug.
. . .

What does your car say about you?

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  • ellen

    oooh, did u get it? did u get it? let me guess, white exterior, beige interior? damn, i’m good.

    hilarious stereotypes btw…esp the “modified japanese coupe” category. hee hee.

  • http://mikelee.org Mike Lee

    Heheh. I came close! Talked one dealer down from $40k to $32k + a $3k trade-in. But his car was in suspiciously bad shape for a car with 10k miles on it. Haggling with dealers is fun!

  • http://www.myemptymind.com Anthony M

    Nice South Park reference with the hybrid. We are hoping to get a custom plate for our Prius that says ‘Pious’.

    I live in WA state so people who buy convertibles are also very wishful thinkers.

  • http://mikelee.org Mike Lee

    Heheh. I’m glad someone got that South Park reference.

  • Jay Cambron

    What about a guy who buys a luxury sports car convertible?

    • http://www.mikelee.org Mike Lee

      Then he is pretty much totally awesome in every way. And that answer is in no way influenced by the fact that I happen to have a luxury sports car convertible as well… hehe.

  • Guest

    Fun article. Who knew so much gets read into such a simple thing? I know a guy that makes over $200K a year and drives a 12-year old minivan. Solid guy, couldn’t care less about what anyone thinks of him. Now, his wife…SHE drives a nice car.

    • http://bizthoughts.mikelee.org/ Mike Lee

      Thanks for the comment. This is definitely a silly little article with absolutely no scientific basis

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