"To go through that and remain loyal… it's very easy to be enraptured with words. But to remain loyal when it's easier, even excusable, not to - that's a test of oneself. That's a true romance."
- C. Worley

Romance is different for a guy than it is for a girl. Romance for a girl is what we all mean when we say the word. It's passion, it's love, it's little boxes of chocolate and flowers and poems about knights on white horses.

For a guy, it's something else. It's honor and valor and kicking the bad guy's ass to save the girl. Let me give you an example.

You're taking the bus to work and minding your own business. The morning starts out like any other morning. Suddenly, a cop riding alongside the bus tells you there's a bomb on board. The bus has to stay above 55mph. From that point on, it's a furious ride of speed and adrenalin. Your heart is pounding. Your palms are sweating. Then you notice, hey, this cop is cute. And when he valiantly rescues you from the bad guy, you kiss him and fall madly in love.

Okay, bad example. Let me try again.

You're riding your horse through the forest, minding your own business. Suddenly, three bad guys appear and kidnap you. They drag you into a boat, across a river, and up a cliff. A mysterious masked man chases you all. The skinny bad guy confronts the masked man in a sword fight and is beaten. Next, the gigantic bad guy confronts the masked man in a fist fight and is beaten. Finally, the short bad guy confronts the masked man to a battle of wits; inconceivably, he is beaten too. Then you notice, hey, this masked man who just rescued you is the farm boy you fell in love with years ago, so you kiss him.

Maybe I should cut back on the examples. Basically, romance for a guy is doing something heroic for the girl he loves. A guy wants to be the hero in a girl's life, the fierce, courageous knight who protects her from evil and bombs and kidnappers.

That's why a guy would rather get lost and wind up in South Central, LA, rather than stop at a gas station for directions. He'd rather shield his girl from flying bullets than to admit that a pimply-faced prepubescent teenager can save the day.

Guy:
How do I get back onto the 101?
Teen:
Voice cracking. You take a left down this street, make a right at the stop sign, um… Scratches cheek. Pimple bursts open. Contents drip down chin. Then another right at the light. You'll see the on-ramp right there.
Girl:
Eyeing teenager with lust. Wow, you totally know where you're going! You're so hot! Leaps out of car and shoves tongue down unsuspecting teen's throat.

There's no honor and valor in that. None whatsoever. Unless you're the pimply-faced teen, in which case, SCORE!

Valentine's Day is coming up. Every year, guys always do their best to romance their girls. But this year, how about us guys get a little romance too? Huh, girls? I'm talking about straight up heroism.

And what's more heroic than a helpless nurse with a short skirt and a garter belt, tied up on the bed and held captive by the terrible Dr. Teddy No-Good Bear, who's standing over you with his evil Can of Whipped Cream and wicked Handcuffs of Malevolence.

C'mon, you don't expect a real bad guy, do you? Beating up bombers and kidnappers only happens in the movies.

. . .

What do you think is true romance?