Top Ten Break-Up Songs
October 9th, 2005'Cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did
It has not healed with time…
Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces?"
- J. Scott
My desert-island, all-time, top five most memorable break-up songs, in chronological order:
- Chicago - Look Away
- No Doubt - Don't Speak
- Bon Jovi - Misunderstood
- Vertical Horizon - Everything You Want
- Hoobastank - The Reason
These were the ones that really stuck around, replacing a warm embrace with melancholy verse. I didn't pick these songs. They kidnapped my stereo and, by some cosmic hand, stayed in rotation during the painful Days That Felt Like Years.
Chicago - Look Away
And the tears are in my eyes
Look away, baby, look away."
- D. Warren
The first one is always given a special place, because it was so young and idealistic. Everything seemed so infinite, so grandiose with the first one. Intense is a better word. Foolish is probably a more accurate one.
No Doubt - Don't Speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me 'cause t hurts."
- G. Stefani
They say that relationships get easier with experience. What they didn't say was that without wisdom, experience is like fiber—it will go right through you and clean you out. Maybe I've learned to deal with it a little better, but I don't think I'll ever get over a break-up any easier.
Bon Jovi - Misunderstood
Have said the wrong things right a thousand times
If I could just rewind, I see it in my mind
If I could turn back time, you'd still be mine."
- J. Jovi
Even the relationships I ended myself weighed heavy on my shoulders. How could they not? I'm a sentimental fuck. Some would argue I'm really a stupid fuck who doesn't know a good thing when I see it, and I wouldn't be able to argue with them. I would just walk away, with head and shoulders down.
Vertical Horizon - Everything You Want
I am everything inside of you, that you wish you could me
I say all the right things, at exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you, and I don't know why."
- M. Scannell
I suppose I should be grateful that no girlfriend has ever cheated on me. At least, not to my knowledge. If that's not the case, I'm not sure I want to know. The break-ups have been about incompatibility of some kind. I like to believe they were all civil, but it's hard to believe that anything civil involves so much crying and snot.
Hoobastank - The Reason
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through."
- D. Robb
There's never a good time to end a relationship. And when we broke-up, I felt like throwing up. Then, a week later, I did. Has a sort of cosmic irony to it, don't you think?
What's really ironic is how happy I am when I bring back the memories. Good times filled with smiles, laughs, and hugs, and I breath it all in hungrily. The bad times, the ones with the frowns and tears, I try to block. I don't want them to fog up the good memories.
It's always hard immediately after a break-up. There's always the mourning period where everything is less vivid, more gray, more bland and tasteless. Then there will be a recuperation period. There always is. I'll look back and be able to look at the good and bad with a smile. Life will have hopefully taught me another lesson. And I will hopefully be a better person.
Until then, I'll keep listening to my stereo.
What are your top ten break-up songs?
July 24th, 2006 at 4:39 pm
Is 5 months of mourning enough? I don't know but the pain still there. I hate this feeling. That person wouldn't care and I certainly need to move on.
July 24th, 2006 at 10:21 pm
They say that the average time to get over someone is half the time you were going out with him/her.
So if you went out with the person for 1 year, you'd need about 6 months to get over him/her.
That's probably not too comforting a thought, especially if the relationship lasted a long time. But at least you know the pain will end someday.
July 24th, 2006 at 11:24 pm
So I have 7 more months to go. That's really depressing to hear. So are you OK now?
July 25th, 2006 at 5:03 pm
Ending one relationship is actually the beginning to another, tomorrow is a better day.
August 11th, 2006 at 5:11 pm
i'm feelin really low at the minute. i broke up with the man of my dreams last week because he explains that he has freaked out over how strong his feelings were for me from the very beginning.
that's not right.
he won't answer my calls.
and that's not right either.
he done this to me and he should be around for me to rant at or cry to if i need it. its his fault.
September 6th, 2006 at 10:11 pm
i just broke up with my man cuz he dated me just to get in my pants and he did and thats all he wanted so he left me after he got what he wanted now hes callin back and sayin we should still be friends but ill play his stupid game im burnin him a cd off some songs that will make him remeber how much i loved the sorry bastard
December 10th, 2006 at 9:46 am
I know what you guys mean..me and my man have been together for 3 years, and for once in my life I was certain that I couldn't love anyone as much. I was certain that everything had fallen into place, he was the sweetest man. I get a phone call yesterday, just to know that it's over…I've played every one of our songs, just to remind myself that it's over..and the tears are the one thing that won't end.
January 4th, 2007 at 6:57 pm
Smile by Lily Allen *teenage song*
January 16th, 2007 at 7:33 pm
Yeah well when my ex and I first got together he put on this whole act and I though the was the sweetest guy ever and that he really loved me, until he started getting abusive and cheating on me and treating me like crap. This is the third time we've broken up and even though hes done all this stuff to me I still love and care for him. Just goes to show you some people are messed up and watch who you fall in love with.
March 29th, 2007 at 9:00 pm
My man and I were together for almost three years. I'm 17 so that's a long time for a kid my age.
Things just got way to difficult. The relationship had morphed into this ugly thing that I hated.
Goodbye My Lover-James Blunt
April 26th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
Sorry but it really has to do with how good looking you are and whom you get hooked after. If the next person is better looking than the one you had, them the hard times are over immediately and happy times are ahead. If you can't find one as better looking as the one you that dumped you, then you will hurt for a long time to come. If you get hooked with an equally looking person then the dual feeling will last a long time. So try to get hooked with a better looking if you can otherwise it hurts.
April 28th, 2007 at 10:43 am
Gee shari, what ever happened to liking someone for who they are, and not what they look like?
May 9th, 2007 at 2:16 am
i hadent dated my man long but i loved him more than anything and the day b4 yesterday we were cuddling and he was telling me how much he loved me and what wud i do if he broke up with me the enxt day….i told him i didnt even want to think about that…he promised hed never leave me, he prmised hed never hurt me…but yesterday i recieve an sms from him telling me its over, but wont tell me why. all he tells me is that he loves me and always will and he wants to be with me but he cant and doesnt know why….anyone know hat that means? im seriously looking for an answer….
November 28th, 2007 at 4:39 pm
I'm so confused.
Saturday, my boyfriend told me that he loved me and that he couldn't wait for me to get back into town because he missed me.
And then on Monday he breaks up with me.
And says crap like "I still love you. I didn't want to".
He is handing me bullcrap on a silver platter. It's a really nice delivery. But it's still bullcrap.
November 28th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
After reviewing my entry, i thought i should specify a little more, because the way I reworded his reactions, they came off deifferently than they were meant to.
he told me that he still loved me, and that he didn't want to break up. He said that he did it before we got too far, so that neither of us got hurt. Except that BOTH of us are hurting now…
February 8th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Yeah i went out with my boyfriend for a year and a half and i went out with him because he was the "nice guy" not like all the other guys i went out with …turns out it doesnt matter everyone hurts you and its always a risk so now im getting over someone yet again …. btw same reasons as all the others "i didnt wanna do it" "i still love you" "this hurts me too" its all bullshit </3
February 21st, 2008 at 1:09 pm
3 years, and now I'm here; searching for break up songs. "But I still love you." Uh huh. Sure. (sigh). It's a roller coaster, and right now, I'm way down. It's been almost a month.
Some recommended break up songs(Seem to help me at least):
Gearge Michael - One More Try
Shout Out Louds - Impossible
Bob Marley - No Woman No Cry(for the guys)
Goldfrapp - A&E
Maximo Park - Apply Some Pressure
Good luck to everyone in your stages of healing. All the answers are within you. At least, that's what I hear
June 12th, 2008 at 6:10 pm
Seems like a lot of break up songs are really cheesy, like Bryan Adams and the like. Not that I can honestly deny enjoying that stuff. Country music is also rife with them. Again, a somewhat guilty pleasure, though living in the deep south, it's a pretty acceptable one.
Mourning a lost relationship is a process, just like grieving the death of a loved one. There are phases - you know, anger, denial, etc., so different songs can feel appropriate for each stage.
But when you're the one who got dumped, there's also that added element of hope. Even if you KNOW in your mind that your ex is not coming back, there remains that little spark of hope. Sometimes you just wish that the HOPE would go away so that you could move on!
And if you're the one doing the dumping, there's all that lovely guilt and wistfulness (I mean, unless it's because you've had enough of being done wrong, which would rather mean lots of righteousness and anger).
So! Some good songs for dealing with all that stuff in no particular order:
1.) You Oughta Know, Alanis Morriset - for when you're feeling angry. Actually, Alanis' newest album is a gold mine of break-up songs since it was largely inspired by her break-up with Ryan Reynolds. There's some really good anger, despair, hopelessness, hopefulness, and even bittersweet revelation there.
2.) Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word, Elton John - cried many a tear to this one during my first really deep heartbreak. I thought he was dumping me because there was something wrong with ME. Turns out, he was just a schmuck.
3.) Take a Bow, Madonna - for when you feel really fooled, a la "I thought you loved me, but it was all an act!"
4.) Release Me, Wilson Phillips - okay, guilty pleasure here. I know it's uber-cheesy, but there you have it. You're In Love off that same album is good for when they've moved on and you're just about there too, and you're finally in that place where you can remember the good times fondly.
5.) Death on Two Legs, Queen - more anger.
6.) No One is to Blame - this one was kind of specific to a situation - very high school.
7.) Sail On, Lionel Ritchie - "You didn't really love me, so I'm ending it. BYE!"
8.) Sheryl Crow has several - My Favorite Mistake, Over You, Picture, and a personal favorite that really resonates with one break-up (of a fiendship, actually - unrequited love is a bitch): You're Not the One (that one is kind of apologetic when you're the bad guy).
9.) You Were Meant for Me, Jewel - when you're working on getting your life back together, but you still have some delusional hope that "they'll be back!"
10.) I'm Through With Love - Marilyn Monroe. 'Nuff said. Or even better, In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning, Frank Sinatra.
Well, I am sure that if I continued to give it lots of thought, I could come up with many more that have certainly touched my heart when I was hurting, but as it stands, I am happily married for five years and my two year old baby needs to be put to bed so I can spend some QT with hubby.
Dig your page here.