Dec
17
2000

Theories on Social Interaction

“Do you like her?”

“Yea,” I nodded. “Yea, I think I do.”

“That’s great! But what about the long distance thing?”

“Sigh… I don’t know. I guess the situation may not be in my favor this time.”

“Hey, that’s like your Right Situation Theory, right?”

“Yup, exactly, sad to say.”

. . .

With another swig of Vicks (been feeling a might bit sick lately here under the foggy, chilly, rainy skies of London), I think my mind is now properly encumbered to come up with another set of theories. You may recognize one of them from an earlier ramble.

The Social Energy Theory

There is a limited (yet recoupable) supply of energy in us that allows us to interact socially. Some people have a lot more than others. Some can get more energy from strangers. Others need to relax alone to recharge their batteries.

You can train yourself to increase the amount of Social Energy you can store, as well as stretch the supply when you really need it.

How? Through practice, through watching people who seem naturally extroverted, through asking people, and even through self-help books.

Comfortable friends can recharge your supply quickly. People you dislike, and sometimes even new strangers, can sap your energy like a sponge.

The Passive Guys Finish Last Theory

Everyone says “Nice guys finish last.”

Well, I no longer believe that. Being a “nice” guy doesn’t mean you lose the race. More often than not, you win big in the end.

A more accurate way to phrase that statement is to say:

“Passive guys finish last.”

It’s the guy who is more apt to sit and watch life pass him by that can end up in last place.

You can be a nice guy and be assertive. These two traits aren’t opposites; they can compliment each other quite nicely.

Let’s take dating as an example. You see a young lady that you like. You’re a nice guy and open doors for her, listen to her, and remember her favorite songs.

But if you don’t ask her out, then someone else will. Or she might put you in the Guy Friend category and look elsewhere for Dating Contenders.

On the other hand, you can continue to be a nice guy AND ask her out. A little forwardness isn’t a negative trait; in fact, most women out there want a guy who is somewhat aggressive—which translates into someone who can be a good protector and provider.

So go forthwith and be assertive, you nice guy you.

This theory isn’t gender-specific, of course. It applies to the young ladies in the crowd too.

The Right Situation Theory

We all dream of meeting the Right One. And when we do, we hope that the chemistry is right between us.

Do we click? Can we talk? Can we spend time together? Do our hearts flutter whenever we’re standing next to our Right One?

The Right Chemistry is definitely required for a relationship. Unfortunately—and I don’t mean to make things harder—but it’s only one part of the equation.

You’ll also need the Right Situation.

As indicated in my Ice Cream Theory, there are many Right Ones for you. They are all right for you in different ways.

This means that you may encounter several of these Right Ones in your life. The Right Chemistry will be there and you’ll click instantaneously.

Unfortunately, if the Right Situation isn’t there, things won’t work out. Maybe the other person lives far away. Maybe the other person already has a significant other. Maybe you already have a significant other.

Depressing? Maybe, but it shouldn’t be. This is simply the saying, “Being at the right place at the right time”, repackaged with Love at the heart of it.

. . .

Do you have any theories?

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  • Rafa? Paw?owski

    Hi,

    I’ve accidentaly found this blog. I have to say WOW!

    As for energy levels it’s quite true, at least for me. But they are connected with physical state I’m in (hungry? thirsty? slept too little?).

    As for passice guys it’s 100% true.

    As for right times, there’s no such thing as determined in advance right moment imo. You create your opportunities and seize them.

    That’s my take on the topic,
    Regards.

  • http://www.mikelee.org Mike Lee

    Thanks for the kind words and your take on this topic!

  • Tarek

    Hey Mike, have to start of with ZOMFG what a wicked blog…clicked here accidently and ended up here and was reading on other of ur topics and i actually enjoyed reading it, i normally dont read anything else other then Naruto and Bleach manga…guess you can help me out with some theories :p this is now on my favorites list.

    • http://www.mikelee.org Mike Lee

      Thanks Tarek! I’m glad I’m stacking well against Naruto and Bleach manga

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