Mike Lee.org - Weekly Random Rambles, Musings & Writings of Mike Lee

I had my own universe once. A universe where all of my toys existed together and battled one another. Autobots and G.I. Joe troops defended against Decepticons, Cobra, Battle Beasts, M.U.S.C.L.E.s, and Darth Vader & the Empire's troops.

Unfortunately, I didn't have a lot of Japanese toys; otherwise I would've mixed Robotech and Gundam in there too. I did have Voltron though. Go Voltron!

(Warning: High Geek Content Ahead.)

(As if you didn't already guess that.)

Amongst all the toys, the Transformers were my favorite. They are totally awesome. I can't stop thinking about the Transformers. These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

In my universe, the Transformers were the most powerful beings. G.I. Joe and Star Wars troops both used them as vehicles and as Weapons of Mass Destruction. Battle Beasts and M.U.S.C.L.E.s sort of were auxiliary beings, useful for when I wanted to add extra complexity to a battle. I had Gobots too, but just considered them wimpier Transformers.

I created elaborate storylines in my universe. My stories were limited by the toys I had, though in my mind, I had more than enough to create some great stories. Some were tiny incidents, others were epic battles. As in real life, the war between good and evil can ebb and tide. Sometimes the villains would win, sometimes the heroes would win. And if a toy was accidentally broken or lost, it was presumed to have died in battle.

(This story will bore anyone who's not a Transformers fan. So if you're not one of us, that means you have a life. Congratulations. That also means you can skip today's ramble and tune back in next week.)

In one of the more epic storylines, Bumblebee and Gears discover the remains of some mysterious robots while on a scouting mission. They are partly buried in the ground. Unbeknownst to them, Shrapnel and Kickback followed them in their insect forms. Being more powerful, they attack and capture the Autobot scouting party easily.

They call Megatron, who sends Shockwave, Soundwave, Dirge and Blitzwing to secure the site and excavate the robots. Shockwave senses great power in these robots, though he can't identify their origins. All he knows is they aren't from Cybertron.

Nearby, Perceptor and the Protectobots are working with G.I. Joe scientists on new energy sources. Suddenly, Perceptor receives a weak distress call from Bumblebee. It ends before he can get a fix on his location. They immediately begin retracing Bumblebee and Gears' scouting path.

Meanwhile, in Deception headquarters, the Predacons are torturing Grimlock, Slag, and Swoop for information. The Dinobots were captured in a previous battle. For kicks, Megatron throws Grimlock into an arena and has Predaking duel with him. In his weakened state, Grimlock is beaten badly.

Over at the Autobot headquarters, Optimus Prime is busy planning a rescue mission for the Dinobots. He asks Silverbolt and Scattershot to lead their troops (the Aerialbots and Technobots, respectively) in scouting missions over the Decepticon's last known coordinates.

Then a message from Perceptor changes their plans. Since they knew where Bumblebee and Gears have been, finding them is more likely than finding the Dinobots. So Optimus makes a tough call to temporarily delay the Dinobot rescue mission and rescue Bumblebee and Gears. The Aerialbots and Technobots immediately fly out.

Hot Rod disagrees with this decision vehemently. Grimlock saved him in a previous battle, so he's hot to find them. Optimus tells him to calm down and tries to reassure him that they will continue their rescue mission as soon as they get Bumblebee and Gears. Hot Rod angrily storms away.

Shockwave has been able to unearth three of the five mysterious robots. They are robot lions: blue, yellow, and green. As they begin to dig out a forth robot, Perceptor and the Protectobots arrive. The Autobots and Decepticons do battle, both sides taking measures not to damage the mysterious lions.

The robot lions are, of course, the lions of Voltron. Making up universes is fun!

The Autobots are at a disadvantage because Perceptor isn't a warrior. So the Protectobots merge into Defensor, which tips the battle in their favor. Shockwave, being the wily evil mastermind that he is, orders the Decepticons to focus their attack on Perceptor. Though they resist at first, they ultimately obey. Defensor shifts his strategy to protect Perceptor. The Decepticons take this opportunity to grab the three robot lions and flee.

Defensor separates. While First Aid and Groove attend to Perceptor, the others go searching for Bumblebee and Gears. They find them unconscious and tied up in a cave, but otherwise okay.

While fleeing across the sky, the Decepticons spot the Aerialbots and Technobots off in a distance. A long-range air battle ensues. Blitzwing accidentally drop the green lion into the forest. They escape with the other two, however.

The Technobots dive into the forest to try to find the green lion. They come across a woodland kingdom occupied by Battle Beasts. The Battle Beast lion commander recognizes the robot lion, but doesn't remember from where. Although his army is basically on the side of good, they are not familiar with the Autobots and guard their hidden kingdom fiercely. So they hide the green lion and begin firing on the Technobots.

Unaccustomed to guerilla warfare, the Technobots are repelled. They realize they could raze the forest and destroy these beings to find the green lion, but don't want to take life unnecessarily. Scattershot decides they'll return later and try to negotiate with these beings.

As they leave, the Protectobots tell them that they're on their way back home with Perceptor, Bumblebee, and Gears. The new orders for the Aerialbots and Technobots are to protect the remaining two lions and excavate them. For Nosecone, who's a drill vehicle, this is easy work.

Then my Mom calls me and my brother down for dinner, leading to an intermission.

"Let's all go to the lobby, let's all go to the lobby, let's all go to the lobby, and buy ourselves a snack!"

Back at Decepticon headquarters, Soundwave begins repairing the blue and yellow robot lions. Shockwave asks for Megatron's permission to make an Earth-to-Cybertron network connection so he can tap into their homeworld's datacenters and research the robot lions' origins.

This is a risky move; such a signal can be picked up by the Autobots and give away their location. Megatron denies the request and tells Shockwave that they'll just interrogate the lions "the Decepticon Way" once they're activated. He's furious that Blitzwing dropped a lion and Shockwave left two other lions; he threatens to "interrogate" them both too.

Just as Megatron orders a large invasion force to get the other lions, Starscream suggests that they send Laserbeak and the Insecticons instead. They can spy and follow the Autobots back to their base. An outright battle would lead to too many casualties right now, on both sides. With this tactic, they'd be able to discover the Autobot base.

The Autobots also have better mechanics and would be able to repair the lions faster than they can too. This plan would let the Autobots do most of the work, Starscream explains.

Megatron surprisingly applauds Starscream for his uncanny idea. After he leaves, Starscream goes over to Shockwave and tells him that he would have let Shockwave contact Cybertron if he was in charge. Shockwave silently nods.

Meanwhile, in Autobot headquarters, First Aid is furiously repairing Perceptor, Bumblebee, and Gears. Optimus asks the Technobots to combine into Computron and investigate the robot lions before bringing them back to base. While he's curious about the lions, Optimus wants to ensure that they're not a Decepticon trap.

Optimus leads a team of Autobots, made up of Sideswipe, Smokescreen and Brawn, over to the lions. He appoints Rodimus Prime (who, in my universe, coexists with Optimus Prime and Hot Rod, since I have all those toys) in charge of the base while he's gone. He also asks the Protectobots to join them once First Aid is done with his repairs.

Back at the two remaining lions, Laserbeak flies near the Autobots and drops off the Insecticons. He's unable to fly closer because the Autobots have developed radars able to detect Laserbeak. They aren't sophisticated enough to detect the Insecticons, however. Only Perceptor can do that, and now he's out of commission.

The Insecticons hop over and watch as Optimus arrives with more Autobots. After a conversation with Computron, Optimus and his team take off into the woods. Kickback decides to follow them while Shrapnel watches the excavation.

Optimus heads over to the woodland kingdom. He transforms and approaches the gates with his palms upwards, showing he's not armed. The Battle Beast lion commander cautiously comes out. The two begin to talk. Though it's rough at first, they come to an understanding and realize they're both on the side of good.

The Battle Beast lion commander doesn't agree to give up the green lion, however. He's been able to remember what the lions are. They could be very dangerous if they're in the hands of more robots, he believes.

The commander tells Optimus that once he's able to activate the black lion, then he'll consider releasing the green lion. Optimus agrees and the Autobots leave the kingdom. Kickback is sitting on Smokescreen's rear fender and has heard everything.

Meanwhile, the Autobots have unearthed the black and red lions. Since they have no way of connecting to Cybertron's network, like the Decepticons can, Computron tries to discern the origin of the lions from what he's able to see. While he does this, the Aerialbots cautiously patrol the skies for the Decepticons.

Optimus silently wonders why no Decepticons have attacked. He begins to realize they're in a trap. Without the other Autobots (or the clandestine Insecticons) listening, Optimus radios First Aid to repair Perceptor first. Shrapnel and Kickback are hiding on Computron, trying to eavesdrop on his findings.

Back at Autobot headquarters, Hot Rod gets anxious about finding the Dinobots. He coerces Blurr into leaving the base on their own scouting mission. During a previous encounter, he remembers spotting seaweed on some of the Decepticons and smelling seawater. From this, he believes they are hiding underwater somewhere.

Camshaft sees them go and warns he'll alert Rodimus. Hot Rod asks for at least two hours and Camshaft agrees. This leaves the base with a minimal defense force, which includes a bunch of wimpy Gobot Guardians.

No offense to any Gobot fans out there.

At Decepticon headquarters, they're having no luck repairing the lions. Soundwave isn't a medic and his tinkering seems to hurt more than it helps. Megatron slaps Soundwave and tells him not to mess up like that again. After he walks away, Starscream predictably drops by and tells Soundwave that he would never have slapped him.

Megatron returns to the arena to watch Predaking duel Slag. The other Decepticons are all watching too. Starscream convinces Shockwave to make the Earth-to-Cybetron network connection, so they can help their colleague Soundwave before Megatron goes on another rampage. Shockwave agrees.

The Earth-to-Cybertron signal is caught at Autobot base. Unfortunately, the remaining Autobots are gathered around First Aid just as he's reviving Perceptor. They miss the signal.

By a twist of luck, Hot Rod and Blurr do catch the signal. It is coming from the ocean, confirming Hot Rod's suspicions. And it happens to be close to their current location. Blurr wants to alert the rest of the Autobots, but Hot Rod blazes off towards the Decepticons, eager to find the Dinobots.

Then my Mom tells me and my brother to get ready for bed because it's a school night. We reluctantly put away our toys and promise to continue the saga tomorrow.

(But for you, dear reader, if you want to read more, let me know. I'm guessing stories like this bore most people, so I probably won't continue the story. Unless there's a lot of demand, perhaps. And if there is, hey Mr. Bay, want me to pen Transformers II?)

. . .

Did you every have epic battles with your Transformers?