Blood and gore isn't the kind of thing that scares me in movies. Ghosts are, but blood and guts, nah.

So when we walked into the theater on a bright Sunday afternoon to watch The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I was smiling. When I'm in a good mood, I like scary movies. And that day, I was in a good mood.

I never saw the first version and didn't expect much out of this one. Probably a lot of jump-out-and-scare-you scenes with generous splatters of blood and guts, I assumed.

The storyline will be lame and straightforward; the characters will be one-dimensional and stereotypical. The girls will trip while they're running and at least one of them will walk into a dark room while the audience shouts, "Get the hell out of there, you idiot!"

Well, without giving away too much, I walked out of that theater wobbly. I mean, how can I best put this?

Holy muthafuckin shit that was one hell of a disturbing movie!

The mood was applied just right, down to the cinematography and film filter. Suspense and shock were balanced as well as any shock-horror flick, and there was a surprisingly little amount of blood and guts shown.

Director Marcus Nispel didn't do away with all of the blood and guts, but normally I expect a lot of it from today's shock-horror movies. Nispel was pretty shrewd in holding back though; my imagination took over in those key scenes to fill in the gory details.

If you're an X-Files fan, do you remember the episode "Home"? It featured an inbred family of three guys (brothers? fathers? uncles?) and one woman (sister? mother? aunt?) and some very disturbing scenes. Deliverance on acid, you could say.

This movie played on that idea too. While not as twisted as Home, TCM's inbreeds were still very disconcerting. My stomach was moved; it was so disconcerting.

The real life crimes of Ed Gein, of whom Leatherface of TCM is based, are distressing enough. This movie took those crimes and tripled their intensity. With just enough glimpses of the "workshop" and the tools within, I couldn't help writhing in my seat.

The plot was straightforward and the characters were one-dimensional. No surprise there. The surprise was that I've never walked out of a shock-horror movie scared before. Not even with The Ring. But I did with this one.

Producer Michael Bay is reported to be thinking about doing a remake of The Amityville Horror next. If he does, and he brings Nispel aboard again, I'm going to need to be in a really really happy mood to see it. I'm talking pissing happy with a Joker grin on my face happy. Otherwise, I'll be hiding in my bed, under the covers.

. . .

Have you ever seen the Texas Chainsaw Massacre?