"I'm pregnant."

I blink. "What?"

"Mike, I'm pregnant."

"Who is this?"

"You got me pregnant, Mike!"

My heart skips a beat. "What??"

"You don't recognize my name?!" Her voice is agitated.

"Who is this?"

"Mike, I'm pregnant! You got me pregnant!"

My brain jumps into fifth gear. I know this was impossible. Right? I haven't… not in a while… impossible… right? "Is this a joke?"

"I can't believe you don't know who I am!!"

I gulp. This has got to be a joke. It's impossible that it's real. "Ha ha, very funny. Really, who is this?"

"Mike, you got me pregnant! I'm pregnant!"

"I heard you. Who is this?" I try to match the voice with someone I know. "Joanne?"

"I can't believe you can't remember my name!"

I scratch my head. "Joanne, is that you?"

"No!"

Pause. The voice sounds vaguely familiar, though I can't quite place it. Closest one I can think of is Joanne's. I scratch my head again. "Okay, who is this?"

"Who's Joanne?!" Shit, she sounds mad now.

"Um… Uh…"

"I'm pregnant, Mike, I'm pregnant!"

"Well, whoever you are, it couldn't have been me."

"Yes you did Mike! You got me pregnant!"

Something seems fishy. I've searched through my mental rolodex. This is impossible. "Okay fine…" I decide to play along. It's a joke. It's got to be. "Is it a boy or girl?"

"I don't know yet."

"You don't know yet? Bullshit."

"I'm only three weeks in."

NOW I know it's a joke. "Okay. Well, then, congratulations on the baby. I wish you well."

Pause. There are muffled sounds on the phone.

"Hey you." It's a man's voice. "You got my girl pregnant."

I blink. "What the hell? Who is this?"

"You're going to pay for the abortion."

"Congratulations on the baby, dude."

"The abortion. You're going to pay."

Then recognition hits me. "Eric, is that you?"

"You got my girl pregnant. I'm going to kick your ass."

"All right dude, I recognize your voice Eric. Nice try."

"Ha ha! Got you!"

Whew! I knew it was a joke! I wipe my brow. "Who else was on the line? Anne?"

"No, that was Christina. Heh heh. Man, we got you!"

Sigh. What great friends I have.

. . .

Have your friends ever played a phone prank on you?