"I forgot who it was who showed me this website; it's got photos of people who are in that culture of tattooing and piercing." She grabbed the keyboard, fingers furiously fumbling through a fickle URL she couldn't remember. "Damn, I can't remember what it was."

"That's all right," I said. "Unless someone's got a railroad spike through his head, I don't have to see anything."

"Oh, but I want to show you this subculture of piercing extremists."

"Piercing extremists?"

"Yea, it's with people who embed metal objects all over their body." She pushed the keyboard aside. "Ah well, I can't find the site again."

"Are you just talking about dinner plates in ear lobes and stuff like that?"

"It's worse than that. Some of these people are really into body manipulation."

"Body manipulation? You talking about stuff like…"

"There's this guy who planted a metal plate with spikes into his scalp."

"Whoa…"

"Yea, he's done a lot of talk shows and stuff too. He's kinda famous in his own little world. Have you heard of him?"

"Er, no. They have his picture on this web site?"

"Yea. And there are these twin brothers who have exchanged body parts."

"Exchanged WHAT?!"

She pointed at the middle segment of her middle finger. "One brother removed this piece of his finger and the other brother added it onto his hand."

"So one guy's got a really short middle finger and the other guy can flip a bird that you could see a mile away?"

"Yup. And then one brother had his arm removed, and his brother attached it onto his stomach."

"STOMACH? Wha-wha-WHY?"

"They're just into body manipulation. They had a bunch of med school students do it too."

"Whoa… And their picture is on this site?"

"Yup."

"Now you gotta find me that URL!"

"These brothers are kinda famous too. They're in a lot of piercing magazines."

"How the hell does that brother live with three arms? Does he use that third arm to scratch his balls or something? I mean, why why why…?"

"They're just into that kind of culture. It's a zen thing for them or something."

"You know, I love my brother and all, and I'd gladly give him my arm if he needed it. But if he don't need it, he ain't gettin' it! Especially not to scratch his balls with!"

"Too bad I can't find the site. You should really see it."

"I'd probably sleep a lot better without seeing it."

She tried a few more URLs before giving up. "I'll have to ask for that URL again. Oh, and there's even worse on the site."

"Worse? What could be worse than…"

"There's this guy who split his penis in half."

I shivered in my seat and instinctively covered the family jewels, half-fighting an urge to curl up into a fetal position. "WHAAA??"

"Shoop. Right in half."

"HALF?!"

"Half."

"DAMN!"

"Yea. Crazy huh?"

"Fucking insane! I mean, how does he pee now? Does he need a straw in there? Does it just shoot out through the middle? Was he on fucking drugs when he did that?"

"Heh heh. He probably has to pee like a girl now. Sit down on a bowl."

"I guess he never wants an erection again. Or maybe this is his way of being able to please two girls at once?"

"There's a whole subculture of genital manipulation out there you know."

"Man, that seems so wrong…"

"Some people are just into this kind of stuff."

"You know what? I'm pretty damn glad you can't find that URL now!"

"Heh."

"Just goes to show, you can find anything on the web, huh?"

"Yup."

"Though I don't know if that's always a good thing or not."

. . .

Do you have any piercings?