"Horny Farm Animals Want You!"

Apparently, there's a herd of lonely but sexually frustrated farm animals out there that have learned how to send emails. Smart horny buggers, aren't they? They've taken photos of themselves and want you to see.

And it's not just horny farm animals. "Young College Teens" have been sending me email also. It's true. That's the title of the email.

And how could I forget the others: the alluring "From Nice To Naughty Girls", the instructional "Get Hard and Stay Hard!", and the alarming "Not with my daughter…".

They've been gleefully filling my inbox, reminding me how popular I am to be receiving so many emails from so many different people, many of whom I don't even know!

But they seem to know me. "Congratulations, Mike!", "Michael, Please Verify Immediately", "Michael, I've been trying to reach you!", and "Mike, can this be real?" are just a few of these faraway mysterious friends of mine. Sometimes they simply utter: "Hi Mike"

Other times, they seem to be replying to messages that I don't remember sending. Maybe I emailed them one day while sleepwalking. Who knows? But they've all been kind enough to reply to me. "Re: your numbers", "Re: Are you sure?", "Re: He said what?!?", "Re: employment opportunity". How kind of them.

They even send somewhat random information that they think I might need. "Helpful septic tank info". How helpful.

Some will go out of their way to introduce themselves with emails like, "Hey, my name is Nicole", and then after telling me how much I make them wet, they ask me to pay to watch them on their webcams. Sure, I'm flattered and all, Nicole, but why don't we go out on date first? Get to know each other?

Then there are the stalkers. "Why haven't you called me?" "Where have you been?" Yikes! I hope they're not hiding in the bushes, watching me right now.

Maybe it isn't such a good thing that they fill up my inbox like that everyday. I really don't need that kind of popularity. I wonder if they'll stop emailing me if I reply and ask them nicely.

. . .

Do you have any interesting spam?