Peeing With a Star
“Who do you think they are?” I asked.
We studied the two guys who spilled out of the limo. They had long hair, hard rock T-shirts (one of them said “Motley Crue”), and the whole hard rock ensemble (black outfits, metal chains, boots, etc).
“I don’t know,” said Geraldine. “You’re the heavy metal guy, you should know.”
I eyed them intently from my peripheral vision as we walked into the House of Prime Rib, trying my best not to walk into a wall. “They look familiar, but I can’t quite place them.”
We took seats near the bar as we waited for our table. The two guys came into the restaurant, along with an entourage of photographers and other media people.
Then a tall man with a blonde woman around his arm strutted into the restaurant and disappeared in a back room.
“Hey, I recognize that girl!” shouted Noreen. “That’s that girl from Baywatch!”
“Baywatch?” I stood from my chair to get a better view. “Pamela Anderson?”
“No, no, her name is… um, Diana something, I think.”
“That’s not Kid Rock, so it’s definitely not Pamela Anderson. I wonder if that’s Motley Crue. But no, she wouldn’t be with them either.”
“No, no,” Noreen repeated. “That’s Diana D’Errico.”
“Who?” asked Jorge.
“She’s on Baywatch. C’mon, you boys watch Baywatch, don’t you?”
“Actually no,” Jorge replied with a dignified stare.
“I don’t either,” I chimed in.
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Noreen said.
“Heh, of course! If I did, I’d admit it proudly, dammit. But I don’t. So what’s her name again?”
“Diana D’Errico, I think. Diana… or Donna or something.”
“It looks like she was with that tall guy. He looks so freaking familiar. I wonder who he his.” I mused. “I wonder if they’re Motley Crue. Maybe he’s Tommy Lee. I thought I saw a guy who looked like Nikki Sixx in that limo.”
The hostess approached. “You’re table’s ready,” she said, and led us to a different room that unfortunately didn’t offer us a view of the mystery celebrities.
When the waiter came by, I couldn’t help but ask, “Hey, do you know who those rocker guys are?”
“Um, no, I’m not handling that room. But I can find out for you.” And he was off.
Moments later, he returned. “I don’t recognize them or their name. It’s a long name though. Sorry.”
We thanked him and proceeded to place our orders.
After a fine meal of prime rib (and a very fine meal it was!), I excused myself to go to the restroom.
“Try and find out who they are!” Geraldine urged.
“Oh yea, I totally am going to.” I winked and headed to the other room.
But nature’s call was a bit stronger, so I ducked into the restroom instead. And lo and behold, the third tall guy was at the urinal, splashing out a pretty damn steady stream. I considered asking him who he was, but figured that would be too gay. And he’d probably kick my ass for being so gay.
So when the stall was free, I went in to do my business (just a number one, mind you). As I was going, I heard the tall guy let out a vociferous belch. Then he went out the door.
I flushed, washed my hands, and ran to the nearest waiter I could find.
“Excuse me, but do you know who those rocker guys are?”
The waiter leaned over and whispered to me, “That’s Motley Crue right there.”
“No shit!” My eyes lit. “I knew it! And the tall guy? Nikki Sixx?”
“Yep.”
“No shit! And the girl? Donna D’Errico?”
“Yep.”
“No fucking shit! You know I was just in the restroom with Nikki, and he didn’t wash his hands?”
“No shit!”
“Yep!”
Then, with a broad smile on my face, I ran back to my friends to relay the news.
Have you ever seen a famous rock star?
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