A Rapidly Depreciating Capital Asset
December 7th, 2008You know what is a rapidly depreciating capital asset? A new car. You're not thinking of buying one, are you? Are you??
Good, I didn't think so. Especially not in this economy.
You know what is a rapidly depreciating capital asset? A new car. You're not thinking of buying one, are you? Are you??
Good, I didn't think so. Especially not in this economy.
I think we can all agree that sometimes, it's important to prepare for the worst. Part of any good preparation plan includes scenario building. From those various scenarios can come any number of solutions.
So it was with this judicious safety research in mind that my cousins and I embarked on the critical scenario building of what we'd do if the world was full of zombies. Such are the in-depth discussions that brew out of a belly full of Thanksgiving turkey.
Oh boy, Thanksgiving is coming soon! That means family and food and fun!
What kind of fun? How about this kind of fun:
I, like many Asian Americans I know, turned lactose intolerant a few years ago. Right around the age of 30. And it totally sucked ass.
No more Cold Stones and Ben & Jerrys. Goodbye Pizookies. Hello estrogen-laden soy milk. (Reduced sex drive what??)
Oh, how can I kiss thee? Let me count the ways…
I thought it kind of my friend to leave those chocolate eggs in my fridge. She had needed a place to crash for a while. Since I was out of town, I offered up my place, provided she didn't go around snooping through my porn stash or crack needles. (I kid, I kid!)
"Awww, what a cute little turtle!" he marveled. The baby turtle, about the size of his thumb's fingernail, wiggled on his finger. Its tiny legs struggled to climb and move somewhere.
"It's so cute it looks almost good to eat! Hmm… maybe…"
It was a fine sunny day when I took a stroll through the zoo with my stuffed puppy. Because, c'mon, who wouldn't want to stroll through the zoo with their stuffed puppy?
I passed by the lemur cage and heard a rattle. A lemur was staring up at me with wide, round eyes.
"It's so hot out here," muttered Poppy the pigeon. The fountain in the park invited him for a spell. He soared down, perched on the edge, and jabbed his tiny pigeon head into the stream. "Ahhh, refreshing." It was. The fountain's water was really refreshing.
Nearby, something squealed. Poppy popped up. Two boys were skateboarding down the park. They were weaving in and out of terrified pedestrians. And both weren't wearing helmets.
My eardrums pulsated. The music was loud. Energizing. I rubbed my hands together and jogged in place. The air was spiked with a spirited chill.
"I can't believe I'm about to put my body through this punishment again," I thought to myself.