You're going to think I'm nuts. You're going to think I'm insane. You're going to shake your head in disbelief.

But before you do that, just hear me out, okay? And keep an open mind, okay?

Okay, cool. Here I go:

Eating is a chore.

Yup. For as long as I can remember, I've always viewed the entire process of food consumption a chore, as One Of Those Things You Have To Do, along with going to the dentist and taking out the trash. Only not as favorable.

I'm not a big fan of eating. It takes work!

First, you have to buy and prepare the meal. You have to pick and choose your ingredients (or microwaveable food). You have to put it all together (or remove it from the microwaveable box). You have to cook it (or microwave it).

Next, you have to chew and swallow it. You have to pick it up with your fork or spoon or chopsticks. You have to chew at least 25 times before swallowing. You have to drink something to wash it down.

Then, you have to clean up and put everything away. You have to clear the table. You have to wash the dishes. You have to dry the dishes.

Finally, you have to get rid of it. Pooping and peeing, I mean. Yup. That nasty stuff.

I'm not lazy or anything. It's not really the amount of work that I don't like. It's the amount of time I'd lose.

The entire cycle of eating takes up a lot of time. Even if you hoard down the food, you lose at least ten minutes for each meal. It usually takes much longer than that though. That adds up to several hours a day lost.

Work and time. That's what it takes. That's precious time I could spend doing real work, doing something more valuable and productive.

If I could just take a pill each day to fulfill my dietary requirements, I would. I'd save money on buying food and time on the whole eating cycle. Think of all the extra time you'd have, if you didn't have to buy, prepare, cook, eat, and get rid of food!

Whenever I have dinner with friends, the value I see there is the quality time spent with them. Not the food I've eaten.

So okay, thanks for keeping an open mind and hearing me out. Crazy, I know.

Maybe it has to do with being forced to eat at strict and regular times as a child. Maybe it has to do with being forced to eat yucky but healthy food. Maybe it even has to do with my workaholic tendencies of being as efficient with my time as possible. I don't know. I've heard all the theories.

But don't worry. I don't totally see it this way anymore. I can actually sit down and enjoy my microwaveable pizza nowadays. And them Ramen noodles, mmm! Heh heh.

Okay, you can go back to shaking your head in disbelief now.

. . .

P.S. I'm exaggerating a bit here, of course. Thanksgiving's all about eating, and I love Thanksgiving. Who wouldn't? Now that would be crazy!

. . .

Do you like to eat?