Management as Parenthood
April 27th, 2008Do you know what kind of people can make great people managers? Parents. Having children teaches you a lot about managing people.
And I believe this rule works in reverse too. Good managers can be good parents. That idea motivated the approach I took when I was a people manager; I thought like a parent as I managed my team.
Hopefully, it has helped. Here's why:
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Being a people manager means being able to juggle multiple tasks at the same time. Multi-tasking is a core part of the job, as is prioritization and scheduling. If your mind can't juggle, then you're going to drop lots of balls. Fortunately, you needn't track all of projects in your head simultaneously; that's why God created project management software.
Being a parent means being able to juggle multiple tasks too, but without the benefit of project management software. You've got to feed the baby, make breakfast for the toddlers, pack a lunch for the teens, do the laundry, wash the dog, clean the bathroom, do the dishes, mow the lawn, etc etc. If that ain't multi-tasking, I don't know what is.
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Being a people manager means being a skilled negotiator. You've got to negotiate with dozens individuals throughout the day to fulfill your objectives. This includes giving your team performance reviews (managing downwards), giving your boss status updates (managing upwards), and meeting with multi-disciplinary teams and departments (managing sideways).
Being a parent means being a skilled negotiator too. Except your individuals range in age, maturity, gender, and, well, mostly maturity. This includes telling your kids to do their homework (managing downwards), talking to your parents and parents-in-law (managing upwards perhaps), and talking to your spouse about mortgages and bills (managing sideways).
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Being a people manager means being an adept evaluator. Every day, you're evaluating your team. You gather feedback, assess their strengths & weaknesses, and help them reach their potential. In doing so, you judge whether some are ready for greater responsibilities and whether others need extra assistance.
Being a parent means being an adept evaluator too. You watch your kids grow and do your best to steer them onto the right path. From parent-teacher conferences to helping with homework to at-home disciplinary action (spanking, time-outs, etc); all of these are part of your daily repertoire in helping your children blossom into (hopefully) well-adjusted & mature adults.
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Being a people manager means being able to compromise. You want one thing, your employee wants another thing, and your boss wants a third. It's up to you to reach an effective solution for everyone—which usually means a compromise. A win-win-win, so to speak. If you can't do this well, you'll have a lose-lose-lose on your hands. And then you'll lose lose lose your job.
Being a parent means being able to compromise too. Your spouse wants to raise your children one way, you want to raise them another way. Or your spouse wants to handle the finances one way, and you want to handle them another way. This means you both have to work together to reach an effective compromise, which should be satisfactory to both parties. If one person is happy and the other isn't, then it wasn't an effective compromise and someone's going to be sleeping on the couch tonight.
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Being a people manager means being a good doer. If everyone sits around and talks about doing something, but never actually does it, then you should write a big fat WTF on your forehead. A good manager is action-oriented, meaning he/she will take action and perform all the hard work necessary to complete the task at hand.
Being a parent means being a good doer too. Your kids set fire to the living room rug again? Discipline them right there and then. Breakfast need to be made? Make it. Hedges need to be trimmed? Trim them. In other words, get off your lazy ass and just do it.
April 28th, 2008 at 12:39 am
It is a striking analogy. Thank you for the valuable piece of advice. I'll try to follow it managing my projects. I think that great changes come to the project management field. They are brought by the new types of software that allow team members to make changes in project tasks and plans. People begin to think differently, as project management gets more and more democratized. Being a good parent for your team members is the best thing you can do in this situation.
April 28th, 2008 at 8:46 am
Thanks for the kind words, Philip. And hey, Wrike.com looks like a pretty cool application! I've never heard of it before, but it's a neat idea - being able to generate Gantt charts from emails. Too bad it doesn't allow import/export from MS Project (tho I'd guess it's coming soon). Interesting app though!
April 28th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Hey — I don't remember you administering spankings at your management meetings. Who benefited… er, I mean, got "punished" ;p
April 28th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
HAHAHA! Only the really bad kids - I mean employees - got spanked. I mean, "punished".
Don't forget to "punish" your teams appropriately now too! Late with that deliverable? Too many bugs in that code? SPANK SPANK SPANK!
April 29th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
parenthood yikes…!
April 29th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Hey, parenthood will come sooner or later for some of us, right? Better to embrace it (and "train" for it) sooner rather than later, right Sis?
May 1st, 2008 at 8:54 am
[...] parents make better managers? I sure think so. There are lots of similar responsibilities in both roles. Each trains you and [...]