You know what I love? Liquid Cocaine.

Back at my previous job, there are cozy cafes that serve up free espressos, cappuccinos, lattes, chai teas, and more. Every so often, the baristas would concoct special drinks with different blends of syrups, like the Mint Chocolate Chip (mocha with mint syrup) or the Strawberry Shortcake (macchiato with strawberry syrup and whipped cream).

Some were delicious. Some were, um, not so delicious. But at least you could get a different special drink every once in a while.

To be honest, I'm not a huge coffee fan. But I am a huge sugar fan. I have a sweet tooth the size of Donald Rumsfeld.

So after conveying this to a friendly barista, she decided to mix me a true delight for my senses. She dubbed it: Liquid Cocaine.

Here's how you make one:

  • Start with a mocha
  • Add ice
  • Add sweetened condensed milk
  • Add caramel syrup
  • Add butterscotch syrup
  • Add french vanilla syrup
  • Add english toffee syrup
  • Stir
  • Top with whipped cream
  • Decorate with caramel syrup swirls

This drink is an utter pleasure that fills me with delectable bliss, like I'm being cradled into Angelina Jolie's bosom (or lips, 'cuz they're both equally pulpous).

Then I dart off in a sprint around the office campus at around 50mph, break into a disturbing rendition of the foxtrot on the quad, and collapse in a muddled mess on the soft wet grass. Smoke lazily snakes out my ears. If you look closely, sparks sizzle from my eyes.

Gosh how I love them Liquid Cocaines.