"You're such an instigator," my Dad told me.

"Instigator?" I wondered. "What does that word mean?" I had no idea. I was in pre-SAT grade school at the time. So I looked it up in a dictionary.

1. To cause by incitement; foment: to instigate a quarrel.

2. To urge, provoke, or incite to some action or course: to instigate the people to revolt.

To cause incitement, huh? To urge, provoke, or incite to some action. Who, lil ole' me? And is being an instigator that bad of a thing?

I don't remember the circumstances or my actions back then; I just remember the words. But as I sit here and try to stir up murky memories, I can think of, er, a few potentially supportive incidents, I suppose.

Like that time my friends and I were in a brewery. The waitress lingered on a friend's order a little more than the rest of us. So I leaned over and said, "Dude, she likes you man!"

"What? Nooo."

"Dude, she's SO into you! You're so money and you don't even know it!"

"No way, man. She's just being nice to everyone."

"She was totally into you!" another friend jumped in. "Didn't you see the way she was looking at you?"

"You should totally go for it!" said another.

"No way. You guys are seeing things."

"Dude, you could totally get her number right now. Totally."

And what did he do? He asked for her number. And got it!

Or that time my friends and I were at a sushi restaurant. A friend was playing with his wasabi. So I leaned over and said, "Dare you to eat a spoonful of that."

"What? Nooo."

"I'll give you five bucks."

"Me too," chimed in another friend.

"Oooo, I'll put in five bucks too," added a third friend.

"You got my five too," piled on a fourth friend.

"That's twenty bucks man, just to eat a little spoonful of wasabi. Twenty big ones."

And what did he do? He ate the spoonful of wasabi. Then had to put his head down while his tongue burned and throat churned.

Or that time my friends and I were in Las Vegas at the roulette tables. We were about to leave to catch our plane, though one friend still had a wad of five hundred bucks in his hands. So I leaned over and said, "C'mon, just play thirds and you could walk away with two hundred and fifty extra dollars."

"What? Nooo."

"Two hundred and fifty extra dollars. In your hands. Right now. Think about it."

He silently eyed the table.

"I know you're itching to play. You've been holding that money out for the last five minutes now. It's now or never; our plane's about to leave."

And what did he do? He put the money down on second and third 12s. The roulette ball spun. And landed. On the first 12. And he lost five hundred dollars.

Oops. So okay, being an instigator isn't always a good thing. It can get you a girl's phone number. It can give you a burning tongue. Or it can lose you five hundred bucks.

But hey, my Dad's pretty smart. He called it.

. . .

Are you an instigator, or been a victim of one?