I Don’t Get Chicks

“I just don’t get chicks.”

With a coffee in hand, I leaned back and regarded my friend. “C’mon man, who really ever gets chicks?”

“Did I tell you about that date I had last weekend? It was with this girl I really liked, but throughout the date, she didn’t seem that interested in me?”

I nodded.

“Well, I asked her out again just for the heck of it.”


He shifted in his seat. “And she said, ‘Sure! I had a great time and would love to.'”

There was a pause. Then: “Oh wow, really?”

He nodded. “I really don’t get chicks. At all.”

“So, then, uh, what made you think she wasn’t interested originally?”

He sat back in his seat and sighed. “Let me count the ways. First, she said she already ate dinner and wasn’t hungry. Then, when I asked if she wanted dessert, she said ‘No.’ Then I had to go to the bathroom, and she was on her Blackberry before I even got to my feet. Then she looked at her watch and said, ‘Wow, it is late. I think I should be going now.’ And it was 9pm.”

I scratched my chin and hmm’ed.

“Then I walked her to her car and asked her what she had planned for the rest of the night. She said, ‘Oh nothing. Just going to chill and watch TV.’ Finally, she gave me a junior high school dance hug and that was it.”

“What?!” I jumped in my seat. “Ouch man.”


“That totally sounds like she’s not interested.”

“I know!”

We both sat there in silence, staring at our stale coffees. A fly buzzed by. Somewhere, outside, a car honked.

“So do you think she was lying about having a good time? Maybe this is just a pity second date?”

He shrugged. “Do girls even do pity dates?”

“Sure, why not. Or maybe she’s just clueless about dating? And doesn’t know how to show interest or anything?”

Another shrug. “I really don’t know. In fact, I almost didn’t email her again for this second date.”

“Hmm. So why did you?”

“She gave off such mixed signals. During the date, we had great conversation and lots of common interests. Sometimes our conversation flowed nicely. We have a lot of similarities. But towards the end, she just seemed like she was in a rush. Like she had other things on her mind.”

“Ah. Maybe she did have other things on her mind then. Maybe she had to rush home to call up some other guy she’s dating too?”

Another shrug. “Who knows?”

I swirled my coffee around. “Or maybe… she has a yest infection or something. And was really itching and had to go home to get some powder.”

“Or maybe it’s PMS.” We laughed. “There are so many possibilities.”

“True. You’ll never know for sure until you do this second date with her. You’ve already seen how some girls act totally differently on a second date. Maybe she will too.”


We slowly sipped our stale coffees. The sounds of traffic rattled the windows. Somebody coughed.

“But there is a great moral to this story.”

My ears perked up. “Oh? Do tell.”

“Don’t try to guess what is going on in the mind of someone you’ve only known an hour. The human mind wants to fill in the details. To make the unknown, known. But in reality, there are just too many possibilities… To many unknowns… And too many assumptions.”

“Wise words, man. Wise words. Is that your key to understanding chicks?”

“No. That’s my way of trying to understand anyone. But chicks in particular… I just don’t get chicks.”

Author: Mike Lee

An idealistic realist, humanistic technologist & constant student.

4 thoughts on “I Don’t Get Chicks”

  1. we gals don’t get men either dearie. :P but I figured when we do, we might prolly get bored (hahahahahha). so let’s keep some ‘mystery’ around a bit.

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