"Dude, you are SO whipped!"

"What? No I'm not. What are you talking about?"

"You just called her for the third time tonight, and now you're going to take off and help her clean her apartment? You didn't even finish your beer yet. Dude, you're whipped!"

How can you tell if you've been whipped? Before we answer that, let's define what "being whipped" means.

Being whipped means you no longer think for yourself. You put your significant other ahead of yourself, your friends, and your family. You let your SO control you, as if you're a mangy mutt on a tight leash with a spiked collar. Every action you take requires your SO's explicit permission. Your relationship resembles a master/slave arrangement, where your SO is the master and you are the slave. The gimp, so to speak.

With that said, let's see how you can tell if you're whipped. You are whipped if…

  • …you stop watching the game or movie midway through, because your significant other called you over.

  • …you always take your significant other's phone calls, even if you're in the middle of another conversation.

  • …you must ask your significant other for permission before hanging out with your friends.

  • …you must ask your significant other for permission before you can use the bathroom.

  • …you ditch your friends in favor of hanging out with your significant other every single time your SO calls.

  • …your significant other asks you to do something you don't want to do, yet you still do it.

  • …you censor your jokes with your friends whenever your significant other is around, because your SO may not agree with your jokes.

  • …you have to be home at a certain time because your significant other has imposed a curfew on you.

  • …your significant other yells, "Sit!" and you sit.

  • …your significant other yells, "Stand!" and you stand.

  • …you acquiesce every time your significant other yells at you, even if you're right and your SO is wrong.

  • …your significant other asks, "Who's your daddy?" you answer, "You are!"