It's been truly disheartening to talk to so many married couples lately. Not because I feel any pressure to get married myself, but because so many of them seem to be unhappily married.

I'm at that age now where a lot of my friends are dropping like flies (er, I mean getting married). And at this age, if you're single, you'll feel some of that the marital pressure. If your married friends aren't trying to set you up, they're asking you, "So when are you going to settle down?"

Marriage becomes the be-all, end-all of all things. "Your quest in life is to find a spouse," the voice in your head tells you. "You must go forth and multiply."

The Finish Line is marriage. And after that, it's Heaven.

What the voice doesn't also tell you is that after the Finish Line, it could also be Hell.

I have friends who've come from divorced parents. Sometimes a married couple just isn't right for each other. I can understand that.

But I guess I wasn't ready for meeting so many unhappily married couples that are close to my age range.

Some tread dangerously close to the Extramarital Affair Line. It starts with innocent but frequent flirting, sometimes followed by the removal of the ring. Others can no longer tell if they're married or not.

They go out with another person and say, "It wasn't a date; it was just dinner and good conversation."

The dinners then becomes a little more frequent, the conversations a little longer. Then one (or sometimes both) of them inch closer to that second Line with the words, "I think I have feelings for you." Ouch.

I don't hear of anything else that goes beyond that; I wouldn't want to hear of anything else that goes beyond that.

Sigh. I really shouldn't judge. Who am I to know what's really going on, right? I've never been married, so how can I know how they feel?

It's just, well, darn disheartening to see so many friends going through this. And with this disheartening view of the Finish Line, I can't really say the marital pressure is all that strong anymore.

. . .

Have you ever crossed the line?