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Violence

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What Would You Do If the World Was Full of Zombies?

November 30th, 2008
By Mike Lee

I think we can all agree that sometimes, it's important to prepare for the worst. Part of any good preparation plan includes scenario building. From those various scenarios can come any number of solutions.

So it was with this judicious safety research in mind that my cousins and I embarked on the critical scenario building of what we'd do if the world was full of zombies. Such are the in-depth discussions that brew out of a belly full of Thanksgiving turkey.
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Leslie Magic

September 28th, 2008
By Mike Lee

"Hey stupidhead, that's my cup of latte!" Leslie shouts.

The guy looks down at the latte, snorts, and takes a gulp. "I don't see your name on it," he huffs. Fuming, Leslie starts to wave her hands through the air.

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Guy Romance

July 29th, 2007
By Mike Lee
"Action is how men express romance on film.
They express their love by whipping ass…"
- K. Wimmer

I love a good action flick. Mindless, heart-pounding, knife-wielding, gun-totting, ass-kicking, chunk-full-of-cliches, action movie.

The hero walks into a room with a hundred bad guys. The odds are against him. They all have swords and rifles and rocket launchers. He has a pencil sharpener. And yet, he still manages to kick all of their asses.

God I love that.

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A College Horror Story

October 29th, 2006
By Mike Lee

"You know how you get an automatic A if one of your roommates commits suicide?"

Sandy frowned. "That's morbid, Sally. Don't say that."

"You're the one who'd need it." Sally snapped her gum. "Didn't you get a D in your last midterm?"

"No… an F…"

"See!"

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The Rat-Cockroach War

July 9th, 2006
By Mike Lee

This is what happens when the lights go out. The rats mobilize and the cockroaches arm themselves. It's an all-out war unseen by human eyes. We wouldn't want to see it either; it would be too horrible to comprehend.

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The Gremlins in the Shark-Cage World of Slime

December 4th, 2005
By Mike Lee

Almost everyone on the planet was dead. Civilization as we know it was reduced to a cross between the Wild West and Mad Max: nearly deserted towns littered the dusty earth with the remnants of buildings and machines.

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The Storyteller

November 20th, 2005
By Mike Lee

I want to be a grandfather who tells stories to his grandkids one day. Fantastic stories. Stories about how I fought off legions of rogue ninjas who swarmed the family mansion with just a rusty butter knife.

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An Alien Feeding Ritual

October 2nd, 2005
By Mike Lee

"It was horrible, my Lord, simply horrible." *

"Explain."

Research Lead Nu'tauk cleared his ebrilleum and shook his vishaft. He turned to the holoscreen and brought up the holovid.

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Bang! On The Forehead

May 8th, 2005
By Mike Lee

It was the waterfall of blood that shocked me the most. But before I get ahead of myself, let me tell you why I hit him on the forehead.

My parents had never had a vacation without my brother and me until that week. Being the archetypical Chinese parents, our family vacations were to Adventure Land (a lame rip-off of Six Flags Great Adventure), Hershey Park (a lame rip-off of Disney World), and, um, that's about it. It was just those two.

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True Romance

January 30th, 2005
By Mike Lee
"To go through that and remain loyal… it's very easy to be enraptured with words. But to remain loyal when it's easier, even excusable, not to - that's a test of oneself. That's a true romance."
- C. Worley

Romance is different for a guy than it is for a girl. Romance for a girl is what we all mean when we say the word. It's passion, it's love, it's little boxes of chocolate and flowers and poems about knights on white horses.

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