Mike Lee.org - Weekly Random Rambles, Musings & Writings of Mike Lee

Stupidness


Eyewitness Disaster

October 1st, 2000
By Mike Lee

Pirouetting pals, cudgeled cabbies, all this week on Eyewitness Disaster!

57th street, right outside the CBS building on the West Side of Manhattan, New York, is the scene of two ghastly disasters.

One is an example of carelessness. The other, of road rage.

Both tragic. Both preventable.

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Workaholic Plus Car Equals Death

September 17th, 2000
By Mike Lee

I hope you don't use your cell phone while driving.

Did you know that driving while talking on your cell phone is the equivalent of driving drunk? Your attention is taken away from the road and your reaction time is significantly reduced. You might as well be pulling a DUI. Or a DOC (Driving On Cell-phone) perhaps?

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Year 2000 Is Coming To Town

December 26th, 1999
By Mike Lee

Like grains of sand passing through your fingers, the last days of the millenium are falling away.

At least, according to the Christian calendar.

It's year 2542 in the Buddhist calendar, 2659 for the Japanese one. And 5999, 3912, and 2529 for some Masonic calendars.

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Making Brain Fricassee with Just a Cell Phone

October 24th, 1999
By Mike Lee

Beep beep beep beep beep! "Hello? Oh, hi Jake. Yea, I'm watching a movie right now. Uh huh. So what's up?"

Imagine hearing that while sitting in a crowded movie theater while the movie is still playing. How utterly annoying.

Whenever I hear that, I just start thinking of red hot sewing needles and poking them into the eyeballs of annoying people talking on cell phones during movies or conferences or speeches and shouting, "How do ya like that, huh? How do ya like that? Yea, punk, that's right! My fist, your face. Right in the face, punk, right in the face!" Mu-hah hah hah hah hah!

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The Male Ego

October 3rd, 1999
By Mike Lee

"Dude, you don't think I can out-drink you?"

"Nope."

"What?! All right man, you go on believing that shit. Give me another shot and watch."

The Male Ego is a fragile thing. Rub it the wrong way and it'll crumble like a cracker between your fingers.

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Running With the Cabbies

July 25th, 1999
By Mike Lee

I need to exercise and get some fresh air—let me go jogging alongside the highway.

Sure. I'll be jogging, so that's exercise. And I won't be sitting here in this room, so that's fresh air.

Never mind those hundreds of cars whooshing by as I breath in heavily. Never mind all that carbon dioxide being blown into my face. Never mind the tar, dirt, and car exhaust adhering itself to the frail walls of my lungs as I try to get myself in shape.

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If you’re Reading This Page, You’re Already Living a Nightmare

December 6th, 1998
By Mike Lee

Does this bother you as much as it bothers me?

I'm sitting here, using Netscape Navigator to check out a web site. All of a sudden, I'm slapped with a big ole' "Best Viewed with Internet Explorer" message across my face.

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