I was doing 50 mph on the 101 when the little car sped past me. There was a slippery sheen of rainwater on the highway and I was keeping pace with two other cars next to me. The little car poked through us and raced on ahead.
I normally would be doing the same speed it was, but with this rain, I didn't want to risk it. "That driver is nuts," I told myself as it weaved through us.
"Guys are so stupid. I hate men."
I sighed. "You're the third girl this week I'm hearing this from."
"Well," she shifted in her seat, "that's 'cuz we're all right."
"Okay." I cleared my throat and placed my arms on the table. "Tell me why you think we're all so stupid."
It's been truly disheartening to talk to so many married couples lately. Not because I feel any pressure to get married myself, but because so many of them seem to be unhappily married.
I'm at that age now where a lot of my friends are dropping like flies (er, I mean getting married). And at this age, if you're single, you'll feel some of that the marital pressure. If your married friends aren't trying to set you up, they're asking you, "So when are you going to settle down?"
"I was on a dirt trail like this once when I was younger," I said as we bounced along the moderately bump trail with our mountain bikes.
"And I accidentally slammed on my front brakes first, hard. And over I flew, over my handlebars, and into the ground."
"Sign up today for no annual fee!" shouted the guy in front of Waldbaums. "Low APR VISA!"
I didn't give him a second glance and strode right by him.
"Excuse me sir, can you do me a favor?" said a girl inside the store. I couldn't help but give her a second (and third) glance. She was standing behind a desk full of forms.
"Horny Farm Animals Want You!"
Apparently, there's a herd of lonely but sexually frustrated farm animals out there that have learned how to send emails. Smart horny buggers, aren't they? They've taken photos of themselves and want you to see.
"Do you want another drink?"
Kristina smiled. "I'll take another one of these," she said, tapping her empty glass. "These were gooooood."
"The entire American society is out to get Asians."
That line sums up the feelings of a sub-culture of Asian Americans.
"You'll need to have good mathematical skills for this job—but you're oriental, so you should have no problem with that."
I bit my lower lip. The first interviewer chortled. The second one, standing somewhere behind me, joined in. He slapped my shoulder.
I feel a great unity with my fellow Earth residents. Because on every continent, in every country, within every city, there is an asshole.
It's the Great Unifier. Truly.
They may speak a different language. They may eat different foods. But they are assholes just the same.
Weekly random rambles, musings & writings of Mike Lee in San Francisco, CA