Weird Science
February 20th, 2005"So… what would you little maniacs like to do first?"
- Lisa
- Lisa
Today's topic for young people is: How to Do a School Science-Fair Project.
Parenthood
Archived Entries from this Category
Hitting On Her Daughter
May 2nd, 2004There's a drama unfolding in front of me right now.
Two Bullets
January 11th, 2004Vinny's eyes narrowed as he spoke.
"After I gave my daughter a great big hug, I brought in her boyfriend—well, I guess I should start calling him 'her fiancée' from now on."
He took a swig of tea. The entire table was so fascinated by his tale that no one dared break the silence until he finished.
I Want a Baby
May 11th, 2003I want a baby.
No wait, that's probably jumping too far ahead right now.
I should probably get a Practice Baby first. Just to practice on, before I get the real thing. So when I goof up, I can just shake 'im up like an Etch-A-Sketch and start over.
That way, I could experiment with different parental styles. First, I'd go with the strict traditional parental method of Tough Love.
In Training
February 9th, 2003I'm currently in training. It's for one of the toughest classes in life. It's called Raising A Family.
Surprised? You shouldn't be. In a way, we all are in training for this class.
The Itch of Regret
April 21st, 2002Feel that? That itch in the gut of your soul? The voice that says, "If only I had…"
That's Regret gnawing at you there.
It's the haunting feeling that makes you look back at that one party you had to leave early because you had work the next day. Even though you were having a great time. Because you're responsible like that.
Mother's Milk
February 17th, 2002Ever notice how Newly Made Fathers have a tendency to talk about their wives' bodily functions as normal, everyday conversation?
"You spent all night trying to find a fix to that browser bug? That's nothing compared to what I did last night. When my wife's vagina dilated, I had to reach in and clear her engorged uterine canal as embryonic fluid poured all over my lap."
Jessica
October 10th, 1999Never pick a fight with the mother of a newborn. They have forearms of dense muscle.
I have a new cousin: Jessica. Born ten days ago to this date, she's a tiny wonder wrapped in a bundle of pink cloth.
I don't think I've ever seen a human being this small before. When my aunt placed Jessica in my arms, I couldn't help but make a comparison to a stuffed animal. It was like holding a toy, except that a baby produces many more smells.
