So here's how it went down:
I'm on a Delta Song flight from JFK to SFO. The plane is mostly packed. I'm towards the rear. Although it's around dinner time, the lights are dimmed, and most of the passengers are asleep.
Overheard on a NYC subway ride several years ago:
Inside the 1-train, a preppy Caucasian guy is sitting slouched in a seat next to a tanned blond Caucasian girl. His arm is around her. She has on a really short skirt.
An African American guy comes in and takes a seat across from the couple. He's wearing a cowboy hat.
Hi, I'm Mike Lee. No, not that Mike Lee. He's someone else. No, not that one either. Me, Mike Lee, from New York, now in California.
Oh, you know a Mike Lee too? Nice. I know a bunch too. There are four at my company. And there were at least twelve at a previous company. Us Mike Lee's are everywhere.
"The air was still cold and uncirculated. The streets were still filthy and hard. The people were still bitter and ugly. The entire city of New York was sick and in desperate need of a vacation."
- A. Nersesian
"New Yorkers, I figured, just pretended to be unfriendly."
- J. Walls
Some people don't like New York City. I'm not one of those people. But even I can admit to some of its follies.
I don't win many awards. Hardly any, in fact. So it was a big surprise when I won the Program Guide Cover Contest for DECA's NY Conference in high school for a second year in a row.
The main speaker was pretty surprised too, apparently. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
It's not that Kris is unintelligent. Far from it. Her Ivy League graduate degree is plenty proof of that. In fact, she's one of the most intelligent people I know.
It's just that… well… let me tell you the story and you can see for yourself. (She's going to hate me for this.)
There are a lot of fucking idiots on the streets, pardon my French. So it's a matter of necessity that you employ defensive driving techniques, lest you end up being a maroon smear on the pavement. I say this because I've had to share the road with such idiots in the rain in both San Francisco and NYC these last couple of weeks.
Over the years, I've found myself unconsciously acting on certain defensive patterns while driving. So I decided to write them down here. Maybe one day, these will become lessons I pass onto my kids.
Or maybe one day, I'll write a book, get filthy rich, then hire a chauffeur so I never have to deal with those fucking idiots on the streets anymore.
It was my first ever alcohol-induced black-out. I'll never forget it. Except for the black-out itself, which, well, I'll never remember.
Trying to survive the NYC subways? Here are some tips for a more comfortable and safe ride.
The subway car rustled back and forth. It was filled to the brim with Manhattanites. The next stop brought even more crowds and packed us in even tighter.
A woman nudged behind me. Her protruding stomach brushed up against my backpack and I removed it to allow her more room.
"Excuse me," I apologized.
Weekly random rambles, musings & writings of Mike Lee in San Francisco, CA