Leslie Magic
September 28th, 2008"Hey stupidhead, that's my cup of latte!" Leslie shouts.
The guy looks down at the latte, snorts, and takes a gulp. "I don't see your name on it," he huffs. Fuming, Leslie starts to wave her hands through the air.
In a Cafe
Archived Entries from this Category
Liquid Cocaine
August 31st, 2008You know what I love? Liquid Cocaine.
Back at my previous job, there are cozy cafes that serve up free espressos, cappuccinos, lattes, chai teas, and more. Every so often, the baristas would concoct special drinks with different blends of syrups, like the Mint Chocolate Chip (mocha with mint syrup) or the Strawberry Shortcake (macchiato with strawberry syrup and whipped cream).
I Don't Get Chicks
June 22nd, 2008"I just don't get chicks."
With a coffee in hand, I leaned back and regarded my friend. "C'mon man, who really ever gets chicks?"
"Did I tell you about that date I had last weekend? It was with this girl I really liked, but throughout the date, she didn't seem that interested in me?"
I'm More Blind than You!
May 18th, 2008"Why are people always trying to brag about how bad their eyesight is?"
Ken adjusted his glasses and shrugged. "People brag about their eyesight?"
My arms flailed about furiously as I nodded. "Hells yea. People are always saying, 'How bad is your eyesight?' 'Well, mine is worse.' 'Oh yea, I can't even see that sign over there. I'm as blind as a bat.' I'm so sick of that."
Master of Your Domain
March 2nd, 2008"Are you guys talking about masturbation?"
Lisa and I glanced at Ken. His eyes were dancing in their sockets.
"Sorta," I smirked. "We were talking about that Seinfeld episode where Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer have a contest about…"
"The master of your domain episode!" Ken scooted his chair closer. "I loved that episode!"
Growing Old
January 6th, 2008"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."
- Anonymous
- Anonymous
"I look forward to growing old."
"Are you insane?" Lisa gasped. She regarded me like a little puppy that just ate his own poop.
The Japanese Maid Cafe
November 4th, 2007"What's up with this fascination for Japanese girls in maid outfits?" Kim asked.
Masako laughed. "In the maid cafes, the girls will treat you like a king. The Japanese businessmen love them. When you go inside, the girls will say, 'Welcome home, Master' in Japanese, then dote on you the entire time you're there."
"Do they do, um, anything else?" I wondered.
"NO Mike. Get your mind out of the gutter."
Your Mr. Right is in Outer Mongolia
September 16th, 2007"Some of my female friends are so stupid."
I laughed. "Why do you say that dude?"
He sat up in his chair. "Because some of them have such unrealistic expectations."
A Nice Car vs. A Nice Apartment
April 8th, 2007"What would you rather spend your money on: a nice car or a nice apartment?"
"Hmmm," she murmured. "A nice apartment. Definitely."
I wrinkled my brow. "Really? I would totally spend it on a nice car."
"Yea, that's 'cause you're a guy. Guys would rather spend money on a car than an apartment. But girls are all about making their homes look nice."
A Fateful Conversation
February 11th, 2007"We all have a purpose here. It's up to us to discover what it is."
I leaned back to catch more of the conversation. The somber cafe music gave their subject a serious tone, like they were discussing the fate of the world.
"There are a lot of people in the world," said a younger voice. "How can they all have a purpose?"
