Your Mr. Right is in Outer Mongolia
September 16th, 2007"Some of my female friends are so stupid."
I laughed. "Why do you say that dude?"
He sat up in his chair. "Because some of them have such unrealistic expectations."
Girls
Archived Entries from this Category
White Chicks
January 21st, 2007"White meat only."
- L. Spencer
"I'm trying to get with a white chick right now," Tim declared.
"Oh yea?" I raised an eyebrow. "How's that going?" I leaned back in my seat while keeping one hand on the steering wheel.
Dating Assholes
September 24th, 2006"Why do so many girls go for assholes?" Ken asked.
I shrugged and took a swig of beer. "Maybe it's not as simple as that."
"Huh?" Ken shifted in his seat. "What do you mean?"
"Maybe those girls don't think those guys are assholes."
The Role of Women on 24
May 14th, 2006"Kim is a total bitch."
Lisa looked shocked. "What? Why?"
"Because," I paused and cleared my throat, "she's annoying, spoiled, self-centered, manipulative, condescending, air-headed, and, well, a total bitch."
Girls Who Can't Communicate
April 18th, 2004"You know what bothers me?" Mark sputters. Spittle sprays from his lips.
"Mark, you're showering me," his sister answers.
Mark wipes his mouth. "Oh, sorry." He tosses a mouthful of ale and wets his lips again. "So here's what bothers me. Girls who can't communicate."
The Wedding Shower
February 22nd, 2004While gaily giggling, the girls stripped to their garters and g-strings. On fluffy pillows they frolicked and pounced. Their teasing touches turned on coy smiles.
"So when do you girls get naked?" I asked.
Checking Out the Girls
September 14th, 2003We lean against the bar and look out at the lounge. Pulsating trance beats the walls; pulsating lights beat our eyes. I pour my Jack & Coke down my throat and feel it burn my pores. It's strong. I smile.
Dimly lit faces pass us by. Someone flashes a grin and does a double take at my friend. I don't blame him. My friend is wearing a pretty low-cut, tight outfit tonight.
Penis Envy
January 26th, 2003"Are you telling me you have penis envy?" I gave her a sideways glance with one eyebrow arched.
"Well, have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a girl for a day?"
"Honestly, nope."
She shook her head. "I've always wondered what it would be like to be a guy for a day."
The Magic of the Thong
September 22nd, 2002"What do you think that means, exactly?"
I looked over to where here was pointing. A cute girl was perched on the round bench, elbows forward on the coffee table, talking to her friends. The smooth skin of her back was exposed, along with the top of a tiny purple thong.
Sex Ed
September 8th, 2002I was drawn to that shelf by some inexplicable force. Maybe it was the sex books.
This was at a friend's sister's house. We were going to have a dinner party. As they prepared the food, I found myself wandering over the books.
Oh my.
