The Perfect Woman
July 22nd, 2001The perfect woman for me is a sheep.
Astrologically speaking, that is.
According to the Chinese astrological calendar I saw in King Sun Kitchen, the perfect mate for a rabbit is a sheep.
Food & Drinks
Archived Entries from this Category
Sesame Chicken
July 15th, 2001The Cantonese-speaking lady blurted out a line of made-up syllables; imitating the taunts she must have heard as she worked in this Chinese restaurant.
The young African-American boy must have been only in elementary school. There's one right down the street from this restaurant. He wore a dark down jacket and a bright yellow school bag with a patch from the Wu-Tang Clan displayed proudly on the back.
He laughed. "Yea, I can speak Chinese too! Nay ho ma? Nay ho ma?"
The I-5
April 29th, 2001The cop would have caught me had I not had a Cajun McChicken Sandwich Meal.
I was doing a brisk 115 mph southbound on Interstate-5 on my way from San Francisco to Los Angeles. The sun was dimming and dinner time had passed a couple of hours ago. "Grrrr," complained my stomach.
Plus, I had to pee. More importantly, I had to pee.
Wine and Cheese
January 28th, 2001"Yu Americans 'tink dat ze French only drink wine an' eat cheese, oui?"
We stared blankly at the couple sitting next to us. They smiled warmly back at us.
A Conversation in London
January 14th, 2001"Burger King? Don't eat that capitalistic carbohydrate-infested crap."
"So I don't suppose you'd want to do Pizza Hut either, huh?" I asked, looking at the Pizza Hut next to Burger King.
"No way! Are you crazy? We're in London; stay away from that American trash."
No More Dino's
February 27th, 2000As I sit here, recovering from a mighty wicked hangover from a going-away bar crawl last Friday, my eyes wander back and forth over photos of my ex-coworkers and the ten gallons of water I have next to me to replenish my dehydrated brain before it shrivels into a raisin.
That was quite a run-on sentence, don't you think? Probably a product of my raisinifying brain. Oh well.
