Hungry Conversations
April 24th, 2005You ever notice how, when you're hungry, the things you talk about inevitably turn to food? Take this recent phone conversation, for example:
Food & Drinks
Archived Entries from this Category
Ketchup Stain and the Quest for Seltzer Water
April 3rd, 2005"Oops!" Kathy yelped. Her expression froze as her eyes searched the food court, making sure no one saw the blob of ketchup that just landed on her left boob.
I looked over and grinned. Kathy's eyes slowly drifted downward. With the burger still halfway in her mouth, she stared sadly at the red dot on her white t-shirt. "Oops!" she muttered again.
Surrounded By Evil & Temptation
March 27th, 2005It was truly an awful sight. It was one of the Five Most Ungodly Sights Ever, right next to monkey brains, overturned eyelids, a smashed up brand new BMW M3 with Dinan aftermarket parts, and Michael Jackson's nose.
I cry just thinking about it. I'm crying right now.
Eating Chinese Food with My Parents
January 16th, 2005Chinese parents have stomachs of iron. Literally; their stomach lining is cold hard metal. Rivets line their intestines. There is very little they cannot digest; I kid you not. Want me to prove it?
Well, pull up a chair and let me tell you a story. 'Tis a true story, a story from my youth.
Quirks
November 21st, 2004I love a girl with quirks. They're adorable.
You know what I mean. Those mannerisms that are unique to you, those behaviors that others don't do, those special things that you do. Quirks.
Autumn in Tuscany
October 5th, 2003I admit it; I was nervous. Sweat beaded on my forehead when I walked into the room fifteen minutes late. The head chef was already well into her lecture.
Her assistant ushered me aside. "You have to choose one of these dishes to make tonight. Everyone will be participating in a dish of their choice."
I looked at the board. "Um, I'll take whatever is left."
Peeing With a Star
December 8th, 2002"Who do you think they are?" I asked.
We studied the two guys who spilled out of the limo. They had long hair, hard rock T-shirts (one of them said "Motley Crue"), and the whole hard rock ensemble (black outfits, metal chains, boots, etc).
"I don't know," said Geraldine. "You're the heavy metal guy, you should know."
Death and Dismemberment in the Kitchen
March 17th, 2002I should alert my neighbors. Something dangerous is going on. Innocents could be hurt.
I'm talking about me in front of a—gasp—stove, cooking. Attempting to cook, rather.
Oh Great, Time To Eat Again
November 25th, 2001You're going to think I'm nuts. You're going to think I'm insane. You're going to shake your head in disbelief.
But before you do that, just hear me out, okay? And keep an open mind, okay?
It's Late and I Can't Think Of a Good Title
November 4th, 2001At a loss for words at the moment. Writer's block.
So, um. Hi. Hello there.
It's technically Monday morning now as I write this. My brain is running on sugar. Not a good fuel to run a brain on. But it can work.
