My Dream Digital Home

Call me a geek, but I can’t wait to get married so I can set up a digital home.

Some people have a dream home. I have a dream digital home.

Most of these technologies are available today, though it will take some installation effort. Thankfully, lots of electronics manufacturers are racing to secure the digital home. I just hope they’ll be ready in a year or so, when we’re ready to buy a house.

If any of them need any more ideas, or are reading this, let me tell you what my dream digital home would look like, ignoring cost & feasibility factors for now:

It would start with a secure wifi network in every room. The family’s electronic devices would be able to communicate with each other. I know wifi security isn’t the greatest, but in this ideal scenario, it would be air tight, or at least damn good. A fallback wired network could also be set up for critical devices.

The obvious electronics would be connected, such as televisions, laptops, and mobile devices (smart phones, digital tablets, ebook readers, etc). Also, their data would be shared across all of the devices. An ebook I download could be read on any phone or tablet. A movie I purchase could be streamed & played on any television or laptop.

In the sound-proofed and sound-controlled basement would be the main family entertainment system. Full surround sound, a large flat-panel digital television, and comfortable couches with cup holders. (And perhaps a fully-stocked bar and pool table in the back.) Whatever is playing on this television could also be viewed on any other television in the house, regardless of its source: DVD, broadcast, cable, satellite, online, whatever.

Obviously, this means there would be a centralized media center. This hub is where music and movies would be funneled in from a variety of sources. Attached to the hub would be an array of hard drives, and perhaps a CD/DVD player. Additionally, this system could go online to stream a movie (Netflix, Hulu, etc) or song (Pandora, Last.fm, etc). It’s conceivable we wouldn’t need all of that hardware anymore too, when storing our media in the Internet cloud is good enough for HD displays.

Just as videos could be played on any device with a video player, music could be played on any device with speakers. This includes the embedded speaker system throughout the house. For outdoor BBQs, just the outdoor speakers would play. For dinner parties, select indoor speakers would play.

All of this would be controlled through a central control interface. This system could be accessed on any device: smart phone, laptop, or even one of the various embedded touch-screen control panels throughout the house. By tapping a few buttons, anyone in the house could control which media types are being played where.

We could also control the lights and security systems. There would be a “vacation mode” where certain lights are activated at certain times and alarms are engaged at an appropriate sensitivity. If any alarm were triggered, the law enforcement, the security company, and I would all be alerted. And perhaps even nearby friends and family.

In select rooms, there would also be flat-panel touch-screen displays that serve as control interfaces, as well as displays of our family information management software. Our entire family’s schedule could be pulled up on a shared family calendar. Events could be added, modified, or removed. If scheduling conflicts arise, those with a schedule impact will be alerted on their mobile devices.

If a family member needed to contact a relative, this software could also display a shared family address book. With a touch of a button, your phone would automatically activate and call the selected relative. If your hands are chopping vegetables, the phone call could be routed through the speaker system as a hands-free alternative. This would require either microphones around the house, or the use of your mobile phone as the microphone.

Shared family photos could also be displayed, turning the touch-screen displays into digital picture frames. This could be configured to appear when these displays are not in use. All of the displays could be synced up to display the same photos, or specific albums per display. Baby pictures in the parents’ bedroom, family photos in the kitchen, personal pictures in the children’s rooms, for instance.

All of this obviously requires greater security than just an alarm system. In this ideal world, each of the touch-screens could only be activated using biometric security as some laptops currently feature. This would require all devices that can access sensitive family information to have this security. Smart phones and tablet devices aren’t quite there yet, but in this scenario, let’s say they are.

Backup power would be paramount for such an integrated system. An array of rechargeable batteries would be stored somewhere, perhaps in the basement, to give the house a few hours of juice should the power grid go down.

And, of course, most, if not all of the power energizing the entire house would come from an array of solar panels. The house would be as efficient and environmentally-friendly as possible. If excess energy is created, we could even resupply the power grid. This is how the rechargeable batteries would get recharged as well.

One last thing. Portable video cameras could be placed throughout the house. I’m not thinking of anything kinky (though if my fiancée wants to, hey now…); I’m thinking about baby monitors for when we have children. These video cameras would display a live video feed on any device. We could even record the video if we wanted to. I imagine our children, when they grow up, may want to take family videos too. Or heck, as a proud father, I think I would. These need not be specialized video cameras either; an iPhone, Flip Video, or similar device would all be synced with the centralized media center too.

Some people take this concept a step further and say their appliances should be connected. For example, a refrigerator could alert the family when the milk is getting low or going bad. A washing machine could alert the family when a red sock is mixed with white clothes. I personally don’t need this just yet, but hey, I wouldn’t complain if I had it. And after seeing a few once-white-now-pink shirts, perhaps my fiancée wouldn’t mind it either.

Go ahead. You can say it. “Mike, you’re a geek.” But it’s a damn awesome vision, isn’t it? Oh boy I can’t wait!

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Premarital Counseling

I’m getting married!

My fiancee and I just attended our first premarital counseling session the other day. We don’t have any particular problems or issues. Premarital counseling is just something that is recommended to all engaged couples. It brings up common problem areas for couples, such as finances, children, in-laws, etc. These are all topics we’ve discussed before, but we figured it wouldn’t hurt to try this out.

The verdict from our first session: We are an awesome couple! We have lots of the traits of long-lasting relationships. Woo hoo!

Okay, okay, enough bragging.

The session taught us some interesting relationship concepts. They may seem obvious when you read them, but it’s fascinating to think of them within the frameworks they provide.

The Five Love Languages

According to Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the book, “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts,” there are five basic ways that people give and receive love:

1. Words of Affirmation – Offering unsolicited compliments and saying affectionate things
2. Quality Time – Sharing your time and undivided attention
3. Receiving Gifts – Giving thoughtful, meaningful gifts
4. Acts of Service – Helping out around the house and doing thoughtful deed
5. Physical Touch – Holding hands, giving hugs, and offering physical affection

Each of us has a preferred way of showing our love for someone. At the same time, each of us has a different way of interpreting love from our partner. Happy couples tend to be ones that communicate their love in ways that match their partners’ preferences. Fortunately, these methods of communication can be taught and learned.

For example, if the husband tends to demonstrate love through giving gifts and the wife interprets love as words of affirmation, then the mismatch may cause the wife to think the husband does not love her.

Simultaneously, if the wife prefers to show her love with words (sometimes, but not always, the way we interpret love is the same as the way we communicate it), while the husband interprets love through physical touch, then the husband may think the wife does not love him.

This tragic mismatch can be salvaged by understanding how each person prefers to give and receive love. The husband can save his money and resolve to compliment her and say “I love you” more often. The wife can add hugs and shoulder rubs to her repertoire of love.

The Circle of Care

According to Dr. Carmen Knudson-Martin and Dr. Anne Rankin Mahoney, authors of the book, “Couples, Gender, and Power: Creating Change in Intimate Relationships,” there are four areas where gender and power issues can effect relationships:

1. Emotional Attunement – How in tune, sympathetic, and empathic one is with the other
2. Influence – How much one is able to change the other’s mind
3. Vulnerability – How much one is able to show and express vulnerability with the other
4. Relationship Responsibility – How much one takes responsibility for maintaining the health of the relationship

Typically, men are not taught to be emotionally attuned, show vulnerability, or take much responsibility in maintaining relationships. By that same token, women are typically taught to let men influence the decisions in the relationship. Although these are just stereotypes, more often than not, these gender roles persist.

Problems arise because the burden of maintaining the relationship falls upon the woman. This can lead to anger and resentment over time. Long-lasting relationships tend to have a balance of these four areas, according to Dr. Knudson-Martin and Dr. Mahoney’s research.

This means husbands should strive to understand and be sympathetic to their wives, especially when their wives just want to vent and not problem-solve (which men tend to do whenever they hear a problem). Husbands should also feel comfortable sharing their emotions and asking for help.

At the same time, wives should share in making decisions for the couple, speaking their mind with the understanding that the husband will listen and respect their opinions.

Premarital Counseling

Some of you are nodding your heads as you read this. Others are scratching your chins and going, “I don’t know about that…”

I’m no marriage expert. This is just what we’ve been told. They are interesting frameworks for long-lasting relationships and marriages, however, and definitely have merit. And I’m not just saying that because my fiancee and I share many of these traits (we are so awesome! Woo hoo!).

Okay, okay, enough with the bragging. We’ve still got more sessions to take and a lot more to learn. I should see how the rest of the premarital counseling sessions go before I boast anymore.

Turns to fiancee. Winks. Woo hoo!

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How to Live a Long, Happy Life

I intend on living a long, happy life.

It would be cool to be a great-grandparent, for instance. I’ve also got many things I want to do. Write books, learn new things, start businesses and non-profits, help my community. So many plans, so little time.

Age is not the limiting factor. Health is.

So how can I live a long and happy life? Dan Buettner, a National Geographic writer, believes he knows the answer. He founded the organization Quest Network, Inc. to conduct a study of “Blue Zones” – regions of the world where there are sizable populations that live active lives past one hundred years of age.

There are currently five known Blue Zones in the world:

• Sardina, Italy
• Okinawa, Japan
• Loma Linda, CA, USA
• Nicoya Peninsula, Costa Rica
• Icaria, Greece

Buettner and his organization studied these regions and discovered four key traits that all share, regardless of geography, culture, religion, or other factors.

1. Move Naturally
2. Right Outlook
3. Eat Wisely
4. Connect

Move Naturally

People living in Blue Zones don’t run marathons or lift heavy weights in gyms. They don’t sit in front of the TV or computers a lot either. Instead, they take a lot of walks. They climb up stairs. They hike up mountains. They even tend gardens, which require daily manual labor.

The Sardinians live on hillsides. So to get around, many walk up and down these hills all the time, even those in their eighties. Many Okinawans maintain personal gardens that they cultivate with pride. It’s not uncommon to see elders plowing and raking and pulling out weeds.

The trick is to do something active every day that you enjoy. That way, being active isn’t a chore; it is something you look forward to. And that’s why it works.

If you love doing cardio at the gym, then more power to you. Otherwise, take a walk around the block. Walk to the local grocery store instead of driving. Use the stairs instead of the elevator. Take a parking spot further away from the entrance of the mall so you have to walk a bit. Play sports with friends. Play the Nintendo Wii. Do something active everyday.

Right Outlook

Blue Zone inhabitants maintain a healthy perspective on life. They take time to slow down and relax from their hectic schedules. They use healthy outlets to vent their stress. They take problems in stride.

It’s not that they live boring, unexciting lives. Loma Linda is the home of a large medical university and medical community. Being a doctor is far from relaxing. The majority of these residents – those that regularly live long, active lives, at least – are also Seventh-day Adventists, a Christian denomination. Their religion aids in their ability to find peace with their frustrations.

Aside from mechanisms to dispel stress, Blue Zone inhabitants also deeply believe they have a purpose in life. That purpose could be as small as the Okinawan fisherman who sees his purpose is to fish so he can feed his family, or the Okinawan grandmother who knows her purpose is to care for her great-great-grandchildren. Religion also imbues a deep sense of purpose to Seventh-day Adventists.

Many don’t retire. They keep on doing what they enjoy doing, because they believe it is their purpose, their reason to get up every day.

Look for healthy outlets for your stress. Some use exercise, some take walks, and some create art to find relief. For others, it’s spirituality, religion, or their family and community.

A sense of purpose is also equally important. If you don’t have a reason to wake up every day and stay healthy, then find one. Spirituality and religion fill this hole for many. Family and community fill this for others. Still others find their purpose in their work or art. And sometimes your purpose isn’t bestowed upon you; it is something you go out and determine for yourself.

Eat Wisely

Those in Blue Zones eat healthy food in moderation. By healthy food, I mean their diets include a lot of vegetables and little processed food. Seventh-day Adventists are vegetarians. Okinawans eat lots of fresh fish. Sardinians consume homemade food. Each community has a different meal mix, though all contain a lot of vegetables and little processed food.

By moderation, I mean they don’t overeat. They don’t serve huge, American-sized portions. The Okinawans even eat from small plates as a means to minimize overeating. Others take breaks between servings. Since it takes several minutes before the feeling of satiation hits your stomach, taking a break can curb the amount you eat.

Include more vegetables in your diet. Decrease the amount of processed food and fast food from your daily intake as much as possible, or remove it altogether. You don’t need vitamin supplements as long as you eat a wide variety of vegetables, grains, and meats.

And perhaps even more importantly, reduce your portion sizes. Eat from small bowls. Take breaks between servings. You may find yourself feeling full without the usual volume you consume.

Connect

The last common aspect of all Blue Zone elders is their sense of family and community. To them, family comes first. Grandparents aren’t shut away in nursing homes. Respect increases with age, so the eldest are given the most respect.

They also feel a sense of belonging within their communities. Friendships endure throughout lifetimes. A person can count on a friend in time of need, and give selflessly when that friend is in need. You’ve got my back, I’ve got your back.

These tight bonds are formed with people of similar values as well. Everyone in a particular community shares the same core values of enjoyable activities (walks, hikes, etc), a healthy outlook (able to vent with each other, a feeling of purpose), healthy diets (natural foods in moderation), and a sense of belonging.

If you’ve been estranged from your family, consider making amends. Be the bigger person and take the first step at healing that bond. In cases where that’s totally impossible, foster the friendships you have, especially with those that share the same values. Consider being a part of a healthy tight-knit community, such as an activity group, special interest group, religious group, etc.

Is This Possible?

For some, this news is obvious to you. But for others, this may seem entirely impossible. How such a lifestyle can be followed in today’s society? I hear you. I know it’s not easy.

I don’t think it’s impossible either. It just takes some extra effort and a lot of discipline. Moving naturally and eating wisely are the easiest ones to do first, since they involve changes in behavior. The tough part is sticking to the new behavior long enough for it to become habit.

Having the right outlook and connecting to others are much tougher. The first involves changing a mental model that’s been ingrained for years. The second involves both behavioral and mental changes.

Part of having the right outlook is having healthy outlets for stress. This can include exercising, talking to trusted friends, or creating art. There are numerous self-help websites and books you can turn to for more ideas as well.

The other part of the right outlook is a sense of purpose. If you can’t find an easy answer, you are probably waiting for that purpose to come to you. Let me correct that misconception: that is not going to happen. Not everyone is lucky enough to be given their purpose. You need to go out and find your purpose. Create one. Look for something you believe in, whether it is a family member, a vocation, or a cause. As long as it allows you to follow these other traits and doesn’t harm others, embrace it as the reason you get up every morning.

Finding a community that accepts you is probably the toughest one to achieve. If you weren’t born into a tight-knit family or community, you will have to work hard to become a part of a healthy community. However, it’s worth the effort. Once you are in a good community, a sense of purpose will almost certainly come to you.

How do you find such a community? Church groups are an obvious source. Activity groups and special interest groups are another, though not all will give you an encompassing sense of community. Some people join such groups just to do the activity, then return to their own communities without further involvement in the group.

Neighborhood-based communities are also a good source. There are “gated communities” (a set of houses enclosed within gates) that try to engender such a sense of belonging, not only for goodwill, but for protection too (crime is less common in such neighborhoods).

For some, their work can also provide a viable community, though like activity and special interest groups, not all of the members may be willing to put in the same level of commitment as you. To them, it’s just a job, not a community.

I am lucky that I follow and have a lot of these traits. Hopefully I can continue to foster them throughout my long, happy life, and vice versa. For many, I had to work hard to create them. But once they’ve become engrained in my life, following them is as easy as eating and breathing.

Want to see more? You can watch Buettner’s talk at a TEDxTC conference on September 2009 about his study of Blue Zones. It’s a fascinating talk.

Now go live long and prosper. And talk a walk around the block while you’re at it.

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The Phone Call from Mom

The caller ID displayed my family’s number. I answered cheerfully.

“Hello?”

“Hi Mike,” my Mom greeted.

“Hi Mom. What’s up?”

“I have something to tell you that might upset you.”

No one – I repeat – no one ever wants to hear those words from their Mom. No one. I sat down, took a deep breath, and asked, “Okay, what’s going on?”

“Don’t be upset when I tell you, okay?”

How can I not be upset when you tell me it’s news that might upset me, I thought. It’s impossible. Whenever someone tells you that you might be upset, chances are, you’ll be upset. And even before telling me, I’m upset just knowing I’ll be upset.

It’s like saying: “Don’t look down.” What does everyone do when they hear those words? They look down. It’s a natural reaction. When someone tells you don’t to do something, you do it. We’re all stupid that way.

“What’s going on Mom?” I asked, voice a little shaken.

“Don’t be upset, okay?”

What did I just say?? Well, I didn’t say it out loud. If this was upsetting news, the last thing I wanted to do was add more upset to the conversation. I bit my tongue and tried not to imagine the worse. Unfortunately, trying not to imagine the worse means… yup… imagining the worst. Death, destruction, divorce, diarrhea, dysentery… what could it possibly be?

“Okay, I won’t be upset,” I lied. I really wanted to know. “What’s going on?”

“You know when you were home two weeks ago?”

Frantically, I reviewed my trip two weeks ago. Seemed like a normal & uneventful trip. Nothing crazy or disastrous happened. No drama of any kind. “Yea…?”

“Well, when you knelt down to tie your shoes, I noticed something…”

I head my breath. There was a tumor on the back of my neck. Blood was gushing out. Blackened skin adorned my neck.

“I saw the top of your head…” she continued.

I cleared my throat. The tumor was on my head. It had a face and eyes. It was my conjoined twin, finally bursting to life.

“Your hair is thinning Michael. I saw the top of your head and your hair is thinning. Right at the top of your head. Your hair. It’s thinning.”

“What?” I blinked. ” That’s it Mom?”

“Your hair! It’s thinning!”

“You got me all worked up for that?”

“Don’t be upset now! I told you not to be upset!”

“Mom. I’m not upset. I know my hair is thinning. I thought you called because something crazy happened back home, like someone died or is in the hospital. My gosh Mom… you scared me half to death…”

“So you’re not upset?” She almost sounded disappointed.

“No Mom, I’m not. I know my hair is thinning. I don’t really care. If it happens, it happens. Nothing I can do about it.”

“You can use Rogaine,” she countered.

“I don’t need that. If I go bald, so what? It’s natural. This isn’t something I can control.”

“Sure it is, with Rogaine.”

Good thing my Mom couldn’t see me rolling my eyes. “Rogaine doesn’t grow your hair back. Not that I’m an expert on that stuff or anything, but I heard it only keeps you from losing more hair or something.”

“Don’t you want to keep your hair?”

“Mom.” I took a deep breath. “Am I going to be the same person with or without hair?”

“Yea…”

“So why does it matter?”

“Yea… So you’re not upset. That’s good, that’s good.”

“I think you’re more upset than I am.”

She chuckled uneasily. “I just called to tell you that. That’s all. I am glad you are not upset.”

“Thanks Mom. I think. Don’t worry, I’m fine. This is natural. Thanks for… uh… calling to tell me about this.”

“Sure sure.” She paused. “Are you sure you don’t want Rogaine?”

“Good bye Mom.”

“Okay okay. Bye bye. Take care of your hair!”

And with a Click she hung up.

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Where Dogs Come From

Soon, a little bundle of teeth and fur will be scurrying around my feet. He’s an emaciated Labrador Retriever & Terrier mix, about one year of age, with a calm, though timid disposition. We rescued him from a local animal shelter.

I’ve had three dogs consecutively as a kid, two from pet shops and one from relatives. Being a kid, I didn’t care about where the dogs came from, only that we got cute puppies. It wasn’t until a few months ago that I began learning about where someone could get such a faithful companion, and how those sources differed.

To cut to the chase, there are several ways one can get a dog:

• Pet Stores
• Breeders
• Individuals
• Animal Shelters
• Animal Rescues

Pet Stores

The most obvious choice might be pet shops. That’s where my family got our first two dogs. I vaguely remember walking up to the window and seeing a bunch of excited little puppies pawing at the window, their wet noses leaving trails of snot.

Many of these dogs come from puppy mills or puppy farms. The quality of these commercial breeding facilities were exposed by the Humane Society of the United States (and later, by Oprah Winfrey), as being extremely poor. The dogs are kept in tiny cages and receive little medical care, leading to health and social problems later in their lives.

Since puppy mills are a commercial enterprise, when demand is up, they kick up supply. Meaning, every time a female dog is in heat, she is forced to breed. Unfortunately, when demand is down, the “excess” animals have nowhere to go and typically end up euthanized.

In 1966, the Animal Welfare Act was passed to regulate breeding kennels such as these. There are probably a few legitimate puppy mills out there, though most of the sources I’ve read or people I’ve spoken to warn against buying dogs from pet stores because of these puppy mills.

Breeders

Some people intentionally breed a particular kind of dog, even going as far as to breed particular kinds of traits. Professional breeders report each birth to dog registries such as the American Kennel Club, to record a dog’s lineage. The dogs can be purebreds or crossbreds, depending on which is in fashion at the time.

A few of these lucky dogs go on to dog shows with lavish lifestyles (lavish for dogs and, perhaps, for humans too). They are vigorously trained, groomed, and paraded in front of cameras. (Again, much like some humans too.) The excess animals, much like in the case of puppy mills, typically end up euthanized as well.

You can purchase a dog from a breeder if you want a very specific type of dog. Be prepared to pay fairly high fees, however. Although many breeders try to avoid propagating particular traits, breeding by its very nature can sometimes include inbreeding, which usually leads to genetic disorders.

Individuals

You ever see someone parked by the side of the road with a big sign saying, “Free puppies”? That’s probably someone with a family dog who has gotten pregnant and given birth to a litter too copious to feed.

A free puppy from a loving family is probably a fair and economical choice. Such opportunities are rare, however. If you’re looking for a specific breed, it’s even rarer.

There is another class of individuals who will do that, though their sign won’t have the word “free” on it. They are typically known as backyard breeders and, without any guidance or regulation, are trying to make a buck or two.

Backyard breeders are sometimes compared to puppy mills and breeders, in that they are more concerned with profit than the dog’s welfare. Though I didn’t find any information stating this, I assume the excess animals are also euthanized.

Animal Shelters

Not all of the excess dogs from puppy mills, professional breeders, and backyard breeders are euthanized. Many end up at animal shelters, also known as dog pounds.

These organizations accept all the unwanted or lost animals that no one else will take. Some provide basic health care and prepare them for adoption. Others have a no-kill policy where they will care for the animals for the rest of their lives, if they aren’t adopted.

Sadly, the number of dogs in animal shelters has been increasing as a consequence of the economic recession. Some families are unable to afford their homes anymore and move away. In many cases, they abandon their dogs, leaving them to fend for themselves. Many of these dogs die. A few are picked up by dog catchers who take them to animal shelters.

It is tough to tell what kind of dog you’ll find at a shelter, breed-wise and temperament-wise. You’ll find a motley crew of dogs and mutts there, some abandoned, some lost from home, some from breeding organizations. Every time a dog is found, the shelter will not allow them to be adopted for a week or so, in case the dog simply got lost and the original owners come looking.

The shelter at which I found our dog told me they sometimes find up to sixty dogs a week. They also have to euthanize a large number of them, because their facilities simply cannot hold that many animals. The only way these dogs get to survive is if someone adopts them.

Animal Rescues

Animal rescue organizations are similar to animal shelters, though they focus specifically on getting their dogs adopted. Many of these rescue groups are run by volunteers, as opposed to animal shelters which may be operated by city employees (though some animal shelters are also run by volunteers).

These organizations come in many different flavors. There are rescue groups for specific dog breeds, there are networks of volunteer foster homes, and there are animal rescue shelters with kennel facilities.

Many of them rehabilitate their dogs so they are more adoptable, including training, playing, socializing with humans and other dogs, solving behavioral problems, and dealing with medical issues.

This rehabilitation makes dog rescue organizations a good choice if you would like a low-cost and well-trained dog. The volunteers can usually even tell you about the dog’s temperament, training (housebroken or not), medical issues, and other basic care issues.

Where do you want to get your dog from?

So where do you want to get your dog from? Where should you get your dog from? Many animal lovers and animal activists recommend shelters and rescue organizations, since there is such an abundant supply of dogs out there, just waiting to be adopted or euthanized. But if you must go for a purebred or specific crossbred, professional breeders are also an option, albeit a more expensive option.

Regardless of where you get your faithful companion from, you’ll soon be enjoying a little bundle of teeth and fur around your feet, just as I will be. Woof!

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Attention Doggie

She loved the attention. During block parties, when our neighbors would close off the entire street and BBQ together, she’d scamper to and fro. We wouldn’t find her for hours because she was lavishing in neighborly petting praise.

Then she’d wander home and collapse on the floor, exhausted, happy, and with her tongue dangling out of her panting mouth.

Ginger was a tiny black Pomeranian. She looked like a soot-filled cotton ball with feet. When friends and family rang the doorbell, you’d see this black puff scurry to the door and start yapping.

Although she would try to jump onto you, being only a foot & a half tall meant she came up to your shin and that was about it. Then she’d wag her tail happily until you scratched her ear.

Her barks were more like yips. Sometimes she would erupt into a yapping frenzy and start spinning in circles. It was a futile attempt to catch her tail. Seriously. If you accidentally or intentionally poked her, she would get mad and literally go dizzy chasing her tail. It was the strangest sight.

Walking around at night was a health hazard. She’s dart between your legs, hoping for an ear scratch and potentially causing a stumble. If you stepped on her, she’d yip then chase her tail until she was dizzy.

Going to the bathroom (number one or number two) was always a team affair at our household. Ginger would reliably come over to lie at your feet. Presumably to keep them warm. I don’t think she minded the smell. To her, it was always: duty first — must keep my human’s feet warm.

If you shut the bathroom door, she’d patiently wait outside. If you opened the door and accidentally knocked into her, she’d yip then chase her tail until she was dizzy.

Road trips were always fun. She never threw up and, like other dogs, loved the fresh wind on her face. We had to hold onto her tightly though, since she was small enough to blow away.

Imagine: a car full of Asians passes you by, when suddenly a black puff floats out of the window and onto your windshield, yipping and chasing its tail. Yes, we always held onto her tightly during those road trips.

Leaving Ginger home alone wasn’t her favorite activity. She didn’t tear down the house or anything; she was much too small for that. Instead, she yipped and yapped all day long. Probably chased her tail a few times too.

Upon arriving home, I always sat down with her to give her a good ear scratching. She’d reward me by turning on her back so I could give her a belly scratching too.

Ginger also made a good listening companion. I’m sure she didn’t understand a word I said, though at the time, I liked to think that she was empathetic to my plights. In reality, she probably just loved the attention.

And that was our little black Pomeranian. Our little attention doggie.

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I’ve Always Pissed People Off, Even As a Kid

I don’t remember how old we were exactly. Perhaps I was three and my brother was one? Maybe younger?

I don’t even remember incident, it was so long ago. When I saw the photograph, however, I had to cringe. And laugh.

The photograph is gone now. Mysteriously disappeared.

“Did you throw it away?” my brother asks.

I didn’t. No way would I ever do that. It was a piece of history, a hilarious piece at that. I would never throw away a memento like that.

“Man, I remember that picture,” he adds with a chuckle.

We search up and down the house for it. But nada. It was gone.

My parents remember the incident. They laugh every time we talk about it. So they help us search for it too. But still nada. Long gone.

What a shame to lose this piece of history. It depicts my brother and me in a very particular moment.

To understand its significance, you have to understand my brother. He’s a hilarious guy, though the younger siblings of my grade school classmates told me they found him intimidating.

Indeed, he’s never had a problem speaking his mind, nor usurping authority figures if he disagreed with them. This has led to some squabbles and infractions and, I’m sure, a few pissed off teachers and principals.

So the photograph?

It is a picture of my brother and me, still wee toddlers, in the bathtub together. I am sitting in the tub of water, crying. He is standing in front of me, peeing into the water with a big toothy grin.

“I totally want that picture,” my brother continues. “It’s like the perfect example of how I’ve always pissed people off, even as a kid.”

My parents and I laugh. Indeed it is. I really hope we can find this picture again.

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From Pom Pom Balls to Small Business Owner

I’m not sure when it first hit me. The desire to become an entrepreneur, I mean. All I know is, it has something to do with a pom-pom ball, some felt, and a pair of rolly eyeballs.

I blame it all on my Dad.

My Dad set up the foundation when I was in grade school. He came home from work one evening with a bunch of fuzzy pom-pom balls, sheets of felt, fabric glue, scissors, and a bag of plastic rolly eyeballs, top hats, baseball caps, and other assorted accessories.

The goal for my brother and I was to create a community of pom-pom people.

First, we cut out pairs of feet with the felt. Then we glued these feet to the pom-pom balls. Next, we glued a pair of eyes on each pom-pom. Finally, we individualized each one with accessories. Some received top hats. Some got baseball caps. A few had baseball caps on backwards because they were the bad-asses.

I have no idea how my Dad came by this idea. Maybe from a television show? Maybe from a magazine article? I wonder.

The next day, my Dad took these pom-pom people to work and sold them to his coworkers. He sold every single one.

Inspired by the demand, our family spent the next few weeks creating more pom-pom communities. We diversified and created all kinds of original accessories. My brother gave one a shield and sword-toothpick. I gave another a painter’s palette with swabs of paint (pieces of different colored fabric) and a paint brush-toothpick.

One of our favorites was a black pom-pom with a toothpick we colored red and a black piece of felt around his back — a lightsaber and cape. Get it? Pom-pom Darth Vader! Ah, to be young and imaginative.

Demand remained steady for a month or so. Production kept up with demand steadily. In other words, coworkers kept buying them and we kept making them.

He gave us portions of the money. Some of it was allotted to bank accounts my parents opened for us. Though we were too young to use any of that money, they instilled the virtue of saving money even back then. The remaining cash was used to buy toys and comic books.

Then we saturated the market. Demand fell. We had to scale production back. The unsold pom-pom people remained at my Dad’s desk until he sold every last one in the trailing months. My brother and I kept a few choice favorites back home. I still have a pom-pom painter.

The next time I engaged in an entrepreneurial activity was college, where I used my meager training in graphic and web design to do some freelance work. I did a few small jobs here and there, getting paid what I thought was a mountain of money, though I realize now it was pennies compared to what professional freelancers made.

Having a taste of freelance work was but a sip of being self-employed, a common baby step towards entrepreneurship. The desire to be a business owner always stuck in my peripheral though — not just to be self-employed, but to be a business owner. Not as a freelancer, but as a leader who manages a company of employees doing something fun, profitable, and worthwhile.

Fast forward to 2007, way after the collapse of the Wild West Web. I finally decided to take a gulp, turn my head, and stare straight at entrepreneurship. I flirted with a few ideas, started a few projects, and did a few cool things with some friends, all of which further whet my appetite.

A year ago, I finally founded a formal business with two other entrepreneurs.

It’s still a young company, but it is already profitable, which is saying a lot in the current economic recession. Years of learning, preparing, and planning are beginning to pay off.

I just moved to a new apartment too. While unpacking, I found my old pom pom painter. A grand grin grew on my face. Life was coming full circle. That pom pom guy is sitting on my laptop right now as I write this. Once I finish, I’m going back to work (there is no such thing as a weekend for an entrepreneur).

What a journey it has been, from a pom pom ball to a small business owner. Thanks Dad! I can’t wait to buy my kids a bag of (metaphorical) pom pom balls too.

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What Would You Do If the World Was Full of Zombies?

I think we can all agree that sometimes, it’s important to prepare for the worst. Part of any good preparation plan includes scenario building. From those various scenarios can come any number of solutions.

So it was with this judicious safety research in mind that my cousins and I embarked on the critical scenario building of what we’d do if the world was full of zombies. Such are the in-depth discussions that brew out of a belly full of Thanksgiving turkey.

Assumptions

First, we needed to lay out some assumptions. What kind of zombies are these? Slow, lumbering Night of the Living Dead zombies? Or fast, vicious 28 Days Later zombies?

We determined they were the latter kind. The most frightening kind. You can’t survive by just outrunning them, because they can run as fast as you can.

Second, how intelligent are they? We decided they’re not dumb, mindless creatures. They’re semi-intelligent, like the vampires of I Am Legend. They’re not about to drive cars and develop websites, but they can learn at the pace of a young child.

Next, are the zombies after you, or just walking around, minding their own business? We said they’d be coming after you specifically. They can smell your blood and are hungry for it. So you’re constantly on the run.

Finally, we were the only ones still alive. Everyone else was a fast, vicious, semi-intelligent zombie coming after you. Who said life was easy, right? However, we could use whatever we found, such as cars, supplies within grocery stores, and guns from weapon stores.

With those set of scenario assumptions, we played out various solutions.

Scenario One: 28 Days Later Penthouse Solution

We could hole up in the penthouse of a skyscraper, just like the father and daughter team from 28 Days Later. However, as we thought through the logistics, lots of problems emerged. There wouldn’t be enough power to last forever. That’s a major problem, especially since power is needed to run a refrigerator and possibly heat.

Being in a skyscraper means we’re well above the nasty zombie-infested world. But the semi-intelligent zombies would eventually climb up the stairs and hammer down our door. Being holed up anywhere meant they’d eventually break in – especially a simple penthouse room.

Food and water would be another huge problem. Even by raiding a supermarket for all the canned goods we could carry wouldn’t be enough. It would run out over time. Water especially. Also, what if the zombies happened to tamper with the power and water lines? They may not be intelligent enough to break them on purpose, but certainly could do it on accident.

The 28 Days Later penthouse solution would definitely not work.

Scenario Two: I Am Legend Offense Solution

We could hole up in a townhouse in the city, just like the hero of I Am Legend. We’d arm ourselves with weapons of all sorts, a trusty dog, and actively go hunting the zombies. The best defense is a strong offense, right?

The power, food and water problems of Scenario One are similar in this one. Not to mention the overwhelming number of zombies determined to eat our brains. All the guns in the world wouldn’t be enough to hold off millions of fast, vicious zombies. We’d either run out of bullets or get tired of swinging our axes. Plus, we need sleep and zombies don’t.

The I Am Legend offense solution would definitely not work.

Scenario Three: Lost Island Solution

Let’s get away from hiding in a building of some kind. How about we hole up on a deserted island somewhere? Sort of like Lost, except without the black smoke monster, genetic experiments, and civil war between shadowy scientists and enigmatic natives?

We’d choose an island where we could be self-sufficient: abundant food sources, fresh water, and materials for shelter. Without a way for the semi-intelligent zombies to get to us, we’d be safe indefinitely. Sure, we’d be living like cavemen again, but at least we could survive.

Sounds like a winner! There aren’t many ways to foil this solution.

Well, there’s very one small chance of failure. What if a ship full of zombies happened to crash onto the island? Sure, that would assume that a bunch of zombies wandered onto a ship and happened to kick it into motion and happened to aim it at our island. It’s a miniscule chance, but it’s still a chance.

It’s a chance we’d take though. The key seems to be removing ourselves from any large land mass full of zombies. If the zombies can get to us by feet, then we’re dead. But if we were someplace they couldn’t get to, then we’d have a good chance of survival.

After this intense discussion, we moved on to other vital matters, such as vampires and werewolves. It’s important to prepare for the worst. And what better way than to do so with a belly full of Thanksgiving turkey? I hope Janet Napolitano is taking notes.

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Ten Fun Things to Do on Thanksgiving

Oh boy, Thanksgiving is coming soon! That means family and food and fun!

What kind of fun? How about this kind of fun:

1. Cook the turkey and “dress it up” using other foods. Shape the mashed potatoes in a face with carrots for the eyes. Put this at the top of the turkey. Shape the stuffing into boots and put them on the legs of the turkey. You can get even more creative with celery sticks, corn, and other side dishes.

2. Choose a magic word for the day. Every time someone says that word, you and whoever else knows the word has to take a swig of alcohol. If you’re not around any alcohol, you have to get to some as soon as you can – and you can’t talk until you do. Just nod and smile if others are trying to speak to you.

3. Buy a bag of fortune cookies and take the fortunes out. After you remove your guests’ coats, slip a fortune into their pockets, one per coat. This only works if the weather is cool enough to warrant coats, of course.

4. If you have a Roomba robotic vacuum cleaner (or some other kind of mobile home robot), attach a cardboard box on top of it. Have the robot cruise around your house with a tray of hors d’oeuvres on the box. Hopefully the box is tall enough and the robot steady enough. You may need to serve relatively stable hors d’oeuvres that won’t roll around or fall over easily, such as crackers with cheese.

5. If you have a dog, feed it food to make it gassy. This could include beans, cauliflower, and broccoli. A dog that eats too fast can also get gassy. Try to time it so it doesn’t coincide with dinner. Perhaps when your guests first arrive. Or perhaps after dinner, while everyone is sitting around and talking. Unless you want it to happen during dinner. It’s your call.

6. Every time somebody says something, add the words, “in bed” after it. Chuckle to yourself if the phrase is especially good. Don’t tell anyone why you’re laughing though; keep this little secret to yourself.

7. Create a table-top turkey centerpiece. Rig it so if someone touches it, something pops up like a Jack-in-the-Box or a Snakes-in-a-Can. Don’t do this if you have elderly relatives with weak hearts, however. Make sure it doesn’t explode or get too messy either, especially all over the food.

8. Use lots of subtle sexual innuendo. Be nonchalant, but stare at the person after you say it, to see if they get it. Use phrases like: “That’s a huge breast”, “Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist,” “If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst,” “That’s one terrific spread,” “I’m in the mood for some dark meat,” “It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it,” “Don’t play with your meat,” “Just spread the legs open and I’ll stuff it in,” “I didn’t expect everyone to come all at once,” “You still have a little bit on your chin,” “You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up,” and “That’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen!”

9. If you really want your guests to leave early, set all the clocks one hour ahead. This only works if no one watches TV, however. Many will have watches and mobile phones with the correct time, but they may not double-check and just trust the clock on the wall. If they do look at their watches, just shrug and tell them their watch must have died.

10. Every time a relative squeezes your cheeks, squeeze their cheeks back.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

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