Overheard on a NYC subway ride several years ago:
Inside the 1-train, a preppy Caucasian guy is sitting slouched in a seat next to a tanned blond Caucasian girl. His arm is around her. She has on a really short skirt.
An African American guy comes in and takes a seat across from the couple. He's wearing a cowboy hat.
I was moving down to Los Angeles when I got Ray's call. "Hey Mike, want to work for Yahoo?"
I rolled up my window. "What? Did you say Yahoo?" The flat plains of Central California blurred past me as I sped down the I-5.
"Yea. We're looking to hire some developers. Can you come in for an interview?"
"Guess who I saw in the bathroom today?"
"Who?" we asked.
His eyes blazed and he jumped in his seat. We could tell he had something juicy to tell us.
"I just don't get chicks."
With a coffee in hand, I leaned back and regarded my friend. "C'mon man, who really ever gets chicks?"
"Did I tell you about that date I had last weekend? It was with this girl I really liked, but throughout the date, she didn't seem that interested in me?"
"Why are people always trying to brag about how bad their eyesight is?"
Ken adjusted his glasses and shrugged. "People brag about their eyesight?"
My arms flailed about furiously as I nodded. "Hells yea. People are always saying, 'How bad is your eyesight?' 'Well, mine is worse.' 'Oh yea, I can't even see that sign over there. I'm as blind as a bat.' I'm so sick of that."
Hey, how 'you doing? Great weather we're having today, huh? How about them Yankees?
You may have heard something like that before. It's what is known as small talk, chit-chat, or general conversation. While some see it as fake bullshit, others realize that there's an art to making fun and effective conversation.
"Are you guys talking about masturbation?"
Lisa and I glanced at Ken. His eyes were dancing in their sockets.
"Sorta," I smirked. "We were talking about that Seinfeld episode where Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer have a contest about…"
"The master of your domain episode!" Ken scooted his chair closer. "I loved that episode!"
"This guy is driving me nuts. He seems to be interested, yet he's not doing anything. What the hell is up with him??"
I shrugged and stared at my beer. "Maybe he's just a passive guy. They need a little more time to warm up."
She shook her head. "Well, I can't wait forever."
Weekly random rambles, musings & writings of Mike Lee in San Francisco, CA