Mike Lee.org - Weekly Random Rambles, Musings & Writings of Mike Lee

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I'll Be Right Barack

April 5th, 2009
By Mike Lee
A Girl:
"I'll be right Barack."
A Boy:
"Wait. What? What did you just say?"
Girl:
"I said I'll be right back."
Boy:
"No you didn't. You said you'll be right Barack."
Girl:
"Yea, you're right, I did."

(read more…)

Eavesdropping in a Cafe

February 8th, 2009
By Mike Lee

I was minding my own business when seven words caught my attention:

"And then she went down on him?"

How fortunate. I'm on my laptop right now, trying to come up with something to write. Thank you sweet fate for offering this titillating story to me via eavesdropping.

(read more…)

Mr. Cornne in Brazil

January 25th, 2009
By Mike Lee
Background:
A series of vignettes of Mr. Cornne, a young American high school teacher working in a small town in Brazil. Based on a true story. All dialogue is in Portuguese.

(read more…)

The Pick-Up at the Drive-Thru

January 18th, 2009
By Mike Lee
Setting:
I'm on the phone with my girlfriend. She is in her car at a fast food drive-thru. There is a car ahead of her in the line.
Girlfriend:
…and then I have to complete ten more reports before getting into work tomorrow and… um… hmm, that was weird. The person in front of me is waving at me. I wonder if I know that guy.

(read more…)

Close-Mindedness

December 28th, 2008
By Mike Lee

"Why do you think people are close-minded?"

I regarded the question like a fresh forehead pimple on a first date. "Because people are idiots, that's why."

"What a close-minded answer," my friend answered.

(read more…)

How Would You Rate This Year?

December 21st, 2008
By Mike Lee

"How would you rate this year for you?" my friend asked. "From a scale of one to five: one being the worst, five being the best."

I scratched my chin and cleared my throat. Then I gave my answer.
(read more…)

A Knight in Shining Armor

September 21st, 2008
By Mike Lee
Setting:
Looking at a model home within a new gated community. Besides the doorway stands a suit of armor.
Me:
Um, excuse me sir, but why is there a suit of armor in this model home?
Sales Agent:
We're trying to give you a feel for the types of houses that we offer in this community.

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Fun for Twenty Bucks

August 17th, 2008
By Mike Lee
Tim:
I bet you can't eat that wad of wasabi for $10.
Me:
I bet YOU can't for $20.

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Give Me Your Girl and I'll Give You This Hat

August 10th, 2008
By Mike Lee

Overheard on a NYC subway ride several years ago:

Setting:

Inside the 1-train, a preppy Caucasian guy is sitting slouched in a seat next to a tanned blond Caucasian girl. His arm is around her. She has on a really short skirt.

An African American guy comes in and takes a seat across from the couple. He's wearing a cowboy hat.

(read more…)

The First Phone Call from Yahoo!

July 13th, 2008
By Mike Lee

I was moving down to Los Angeles when I got Ray's call. "Hey Mike, want to work for Yahoo?"

I rolled up my window. "What? Did you say Yahoo?" The flat plains of Central California blurred past me as I sped down the I-5.

"Yea. We're looking to hire some developers. Can you come in for an interview?"

(read more…)

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