Category: Bad Days
Hey, hey, it ain’t just us guys who are apt to say the wrong thing. Foot-in-Mouth has no gender bias. You ladies are just as guilty of saying the wrong thing on a first date as we are. Such as:
- “Have I told you about my cats?”
- “Hello, my biological clock is ticking…”
- “So I was thinking, after dinner, why don’t we stop by Tiffany’s?”
- “What kind of car do you drive?”
- “Did you just look at that girl over there? I saw you looking. Don’t lie, I know you were looking.”
- “Do I look fat in this dress?”
- “I have a boyfriend.”
- “My ex is a crazy psycho stalker.”
- “Sorry, I’m into Edward. You’re more of a Jacob.”
- “I think I love you.”
What else should a girl not say on a first date?
Foot-in-Mouth disease doesn’t just strike dates. For some, it strikes during interviews too. Here is a list of what hopefully never comes out of your mouth during an interview.
- “What I want to know is, how do I get your job?”
- “Honestly, if you must know, I really hate people.”
- “Can you give me an alphabetized list of everyone in this office, including their home addresses and social security numbers? I like to do a background check on all of my coworkers before joining a new company.”
- “Ohmigod I’m so drunk right now I think I’m gonna puke…”
- “The receptionist is totally hot. I can’t wait to get hired so I can bang her.”
- “I’m prone to violent and homicidal fits of rage whenever I’m disappointed. So, I have the job, right?”
- “No, I don’t think this company really has any potential or will go anywhere. I just want a paycheck.”
- “Hold on, I hear my phone ringing.”
- “My hobbies? I love FarmVille! I can’t stop playing it all day long, sometimes for hours on end!”
- “So how the fuck are ya?”
What else should a candidate not say on an interview?
We’ve all suffered from bouts of Foot-in-Mouth disease. Some more than others. So it’s always good to review Do and Not-Do lists to minimize such relapses. Here is one such list for guys.
- “Oh my God you’re so hot. You look just like my mother.”
- “How many languages can you speak? I can speak English, Spanish, Elvish, Klingon, Vampirese, Huttese, and Qwghlmian.”
- “So. Do you like anal?”
- “Are you really going to wear that for the entire date?”
- “I think the woman’s place is in the kitchen, don’t you?”
- “Hi, have you met my friend Bert? You don’t see him? He’s sitting right here, next to me. Say ‘Hi’ Bert.”
- “Wow, you could sure stand to lose a few pounds.”
- “Before we go any further, you must answer this question correctly: The probability of a car passing a certain intersection in a 20-minute windows is 0.9. What is the probability of a car passing the intersection in a 5-minute window, assuming a constant probability throughout?”
- “Damn, I forgot my gonorrhea cream back home. Do you have any?”
- “So how the fuck are ya?”
What else should a guy not say on a first date?
I love dogs. I grew up with dogs, have a dog right now, and would love it if I could raise my kids with dogs around because they make great companions and can teach them about being responsible when they’re older.
I also believe that pets are pets. They are a part of the family, but they are not human and it can be dangerous to treat them as such. Doing so can lead to the kinds of behavior you see on The Dog Whisperer. In my opinion, the better you understand a dog’s psychology (and realize it is not the same as human psychology), the happier the dog will be.
Not everyone shares this opinion, of course. There are extremes along the pet sentiment spectrum — those that hate pets a little too much and those that love pets a little too much. Bewilderingly, I’ve been running into these extremes lately.
The Pet Haters
These people hate pets. They may have a traumatic history with a dog or cat, were raised to be weary of pets, or have a genuine disdain for animals. As you can imagine, they typically aren’t vegetarians. At least, I haven’t met any vegetarian Pet Haters yet.
Around these people, you can’t bring your pets. They’ll shriek, shrill, and shrink back in horror. For all the cuteness you think your furry little friend has, they’ll see nothing but four legs of unpredictable fearsomeness. Even tame, well-behaved pets cannot break their shell of hate.
Some Pet Haters have an additional annoying trait: They go out of their way to reveal the extent of their hate. Woe to the dog owner who crosses the path of a Pet Hater while on an afternoon walk. The vitriol from such Pet Haters can be caustic.
The Pet Parents
These people love pets. They consider pets to be their actual children, sans the college education bill. The entire pet industry has thrived on such consumers, especially luxury services such as pet spas, pet restaurants, and pet airlines (it’s true, it exists!).
Michael Schaffer’s book “One Nation Under Dog” discusses how pets have become substitutes for children in millions of households. They could be single and only have pets to come home to, be married and cannot have children, or have children and give their pets the majority of their attention. These pet owners even refer to themselves as the Mommy or Daddy to their pets. (Note: My fiance and I use this label for ourselves in regards to our dog, though we don’t honestly view him as our child.)
Some Pet Parents have an additional annoying trait: They go out of their way to share the extent of their love. If you don’t care for your pet in a manner congruent to the love their lavish on their pets, they will brand you a bad, bad Mommy or Daddy.
The Pet Experts
There is a third dimension to this pet sentiment spectrum. These people love pets, but essentially regard them as animal companions that require strict rules and training. You’ll know you are in the presence of a Pet Expert if you catch one quoting Cesar Milan. (Note: I know I’ve done this a few times and am deeply, deeply sorry for my arrogance. I’ll never do it again.)
You’ll find that some Pet Experts may actually be very well-read on the subject of pets. They may be veterinarians, animal control officials, or animal shelter administrators. But just as easily, you’ll find novices that watch only The Dog Whisperer for their canine proficiency.
Some Pet Experts have an additional annoying trait: They go out of their way to pronounce their expertise. If they see you holding the leash incorrectly, you’d better stand back so their angry spittle doesn’t get in your eye. Watch out for Pet Parent / Pet Expert hybrids. Those are the worst.
How to Handle These Extremists
You’ve probably noticed a common theme here. Within each of these types exists people who go out of their way to tell you their opinions. As you may surmise, that is the crux of the problem. Everyone has and is entitled to an opinion on pet ownership. The problem arises when those people express their contempt for others who don’t share their opinions.
I don’t have any contempt for them as individuals. But I do have contempt for their arrogant behavior.
The same patterns exist for children as well. If you are a new parent, I’m sure you’ve encountered people who hate children, people who love their children to the point of spoiling them, and people who believe they know better than others on child care.
I’m sure you also have no problem with their views. It’s when they get in your face and shout their views at you that it becomes unnecessary drama.
So what can you do? I know of some who are always up for a good fight and push right back. I’ve seen more than a few heated arguments at dog parks to know these are fairly common.
I’ve tried that tactic. It only left me frustrated and my day ruined. The argument had no winners, only two people who walked away angry the other person didn’t share their opinions.
So what can you do? I say imagine that person in their underwear. Or a clown suit. Or in a hot dog costume being chased by hungry dogs. Laugh at their ridiculousness and walk away. You’ll never be able to change an extremist’s mind. Trying to do so is like doing math with bubblegum; it’s impossible.
Then go home and play with your pet. Pet therapy is the best cure for unnecessary drama.
Being a work-from-home entrepreneur sometimes means, well, working from home. Most of the time, I prefer to go out and work in a café, bookstore, or even library. Having people around me, even if I’m not interacting with them, feeds me. It energizes me and keeps me motivated.
However, I’m not always able to go out. Especially when it’s raining out or I’m trying to save cash. In those cases, I work from home, which sounds great, doesn’t it? If you’re sitting in an office after a sixty-minute commute through back-to-back traffic, I’m sure it does.
There is a dark downside though. Daytime television.
Just to set the record straight, I don’t regularly watch TV. When I was single, I didn’t even own a television set. Everything I watched was on-demand from DVDs, Hulu or elsewhere.
And admittedly, I’ve gotten addicted to a handful of shows, like Lost and Family Guy. But I skip the majority of shows on TV. Yup, I get all of my modern culture awareness from Lost and Family Guy. Explains a lot, doesn’t it?
So it is with great trepidation that I turn on the TV every day. No, I’m not turning it on for myself. I’m turning it on for my dog.
That’s right, my dog.
I have a fearful little pup that is prone to barking at outside noise. Or at least, the noise he can hear.
When the television is on, Jerry Springer blocks out the scary neighbors outside with scary neighbors inside. The screeching of cats outside is replaced by the screeching of The View inside. The rumbling trucks in the street are covered by the rumbling shmucks in The Bold and the Beautiful.
My dog doesn’t watch the TV himself. Even when there are dogs on TV, he’ll just do his own thing, like play with the Kong or lie at my feet.
Without the TV, however, he’ll stand by the window on alert. With ears perked, he’ll sniff the air and bark at impending intruders. “Danger close, danger close!” he shouts.
What does this mean for me? It means my eye will wander to the television from time to time. I’ll catch a glimpse of a pregnant woman DNA testing ten guys to find out who is her baby daddy. Or a stately old man discovering that his wife’s young lover is really his cousin’s twin brother who’s been lost at sea for years.
Then I’ll shake my head, sigh, and long for a cafe. Daytime television really sucks.
P.S. Fortunately, there is a feasible alternative. Music also shutters outside noise. Though perhaps my band choices – like Slipknot, Slayer, and Five Finger Death Punch – aren’t the best choices to calm a nervous dog.
The caller ID displayed my family’s number. I answered cheerfully.
“Hello?”
“Hi Mike,” my Mom greeted.
“Hi Mom. What’s up?”
“I have something to tell you that might upset you.”
No one – I repeat – no one ever wants to hear those words from their Mom. No one. I sat down, took a deep breath, and asked, “Okay, what’s going on?”
“Don’t be upset when I tell you, okay?”
How can I not be upset when you tell me it’s news that might upset me, I thought. It’s impossible. Whenever someone tells you that you might be upset, chances are, you’ll be upset. And even before telling me, I’m upset just knowing I’ll be upset.
It’s like saying: “Don’t look down.” What does everyone do when they hear those words? They look down. It’s a natural reaction. When someone tells you don’t to do something, you do it. We’re all stupid that way.
“What’s going on Mom?” I asked, voice a little shaken.
“Don’t be upset, okay?”
What did I just say?? Well, I didn’t say it out loud. If this was upsetting news, the last thing I wanted to do was add more upset to the conversation. I bit my tongue and tried not to imagine the worse. Unfortunately, trying not to imagine the worse means… yup… imagining the worst. Death, destruction, divorce, diarrhea, dysentery… what could it possibly be?
“Okay, I won’t be upset,” I lied. I really wanted to know. “What’s going on?”
“You know when you were home two weeks ago?”
Frantically, I reviewed my trip two weeks ago. Seemed like a normal & uneventful trip. Nothing crazy or disastrous happened. No drama of any kind. “Yea…?”
“Well, when you knelt down to tie your shoes, I noticed something…”
I head my breath. There was a tumor on the back of my neck. Blood was gushing out. Blackened skin adorned my neck.
“I saw the top of your head…” she continued.
I cleared my throat. The tumor was on my head. It had a face and eyes. It was my conjoined twin, finally bursting to life.
“Your hair is thinning Michael. I saw the top of your head and your hair is thinning. Right at the top of your head. Your hair. It’s thinning.”
“What?” I blinked. ” That’s it Mom?”
“Your hair! It’s thinning!”
“You got me all worked up for that?”
“Don’t be upset now! I told you not to be upset!”
“Mom. I’m not upset. I know my hair is thinning. I thought you called because something crazy happened back home, like someone died or is in the hospital. My gosh Mom… you scared me half to death…”
“So you’re not upset?” She almost sounded disappointed.
“No Mom, I’m not. I know my hair is thinning. I don’t really care. If it happens, it happens. Nothing I can do about it.”
“You can use Rogaine,” she countered.
“I don’t need that. If I go bald, so what? It’s natural. This isn’t something I can control.”
“Sure it is, with Rogaine.”
Good thing my Mom couldn’t see me rolling my eyes. “Rogaine doesn’t grow your hair back. Not that I’m an expert on that stuff or anything, but I heard it only keeps you from losing more hair or something.”
“Don’t you want to keep your hair?”
“Mom.” I took a deep breath. “Am I going to be the same person with or without hair?”
“Yea…”
“So why does it matter?”
“Yea… So you’re not upset. That’s good, that’s good.”
“I think you’re more upset than I am.”
She chuckled uneasily. “I just called to tell you that. That’s all. I am glad you are not upset.”
“Thanks Mom. I think. Don’t worry, I’m fine. This is natural. Thanks for… uh… calling to tell me about this.”
“Sure sure.” She paused. “Are you sure you don’t want Rogaine?”
“Good bye Mom.”
“Okay okay. Bye bye. Take care of your hair!”
And with a Click she hung up.
“Oh my goodness, let me tell you this story,” began the barber. His electric shaver sheared my sides as he started.
“I was flying back to Vietnam. I have not been there in years. Many, many years. It has been so long that I did not remember if I needed a Visa or not.”
He shook his head and frowned. “A friend told me I did not because I am Vietnamese. I believed him. So I packed up all of my bags and went to the airport. And guess what?”
“What?” I asked.
He took a step back from my hair and examined it. Narrowed his eyes. Then he looked at me. “When I got to the gate, they rejected me. They told me I needed a Visa. Can you believe it? I listened to my friend. I believed my friend. And here I was, at the airport, with all of my luggage, and I was told I could not get on the plane.”
“Daaaaaamn,” I murmured. “So what did you do?”
“I had to go all the way back home, get online, and look up information on how to get my Visa.” He snipped some hair and shook his head again. “Normally, it takes only ten dollars and a few weeks to get the Visa. But because I needed it right away, I had to pay… guess how much?”
“Fifty bucks?”
“No, more.”
“Hundred bucks?”
“Yes! Hundred bucks! A little more than a hundred bucks, actually. I had to call up my cousins in Vietnam to help rush it too. It was such an ordeal. I finally got it in an email, printed it out, and called the airline to book another flight. But then…”
His voice trailed off. I couldn’t tell if he was lost in the shears, or in the story. I decided not to push him and let him finish my sides.
“…and then,” he finally continued, “they told me all the flights were booked. I had to wait next week for the next available flight! I was so angry. I only had a week of vacation and already took a few days off. I could not wait a week!”
“Daaaaaamn,” I murmured again.
“So my brother, he travels a lot. He called up the airline and talked to them. Somehow, he got them to give me a flight in two days. I was so happy”
“Uh huh,” I concurred without trying to nod my head.
“I flew from Los Angeles to San Francisco. Then from San Francisco to Shanghai. Then from Shanghai to Vietnam. Oh, and while at Shanghai, there’s more to this story…”
“There’s more?” I asked incredulously.
“Yes! These things always happen to me. I don’t know why.” He rolled his eyes. “When I got to Shanghai, they told me I had to get my luggage from luggage claim and check it in again for my flight to Vietnam. I told them No, it should be transferred automatically. But they kept saying No, I need to pick it up myself and check it back in again. Such an ordeal. So I went to luggage claim. And guess what?”
“What? Your luggage was missing?”
“Yes! My luggage was missing! Can you believe it? I talked to the airline and they told me it was still in San Francisco. So I had to call San Francisco airport, and they told me they did not have my luggage, that it was on the airplane.”
“Daaaaaamn,” I murmured again.
“I know! I was so angry. So I called my brother and he checked it for me. They told him my luggage was on its way to Vietnam already. So I got on the plane and flew to Vietnam. And guess what?”
“You didn’t find your luggage.”
“Yes! I didn’t find my luggage!”
This guy’s story is either one huge exaggeration, or the poor fellah really does have horrible things happening to him all the time. Either way, the story was enticing. I listened with intense interest.
“I called my brother again,” he continued. “The airline told him my luggage was in Vietnam. But the airport in Vietnam said they did not have my luggage. I was on the phone all day, calling Shanghai, San Francisco, my brother… such an ordeal. Finally, someone told me to check the luggage counter. I did, and there was my luggage.”
He let out a long sigh and shook his head.
“Daaaaaamn.”
“Everything in my luggage was broken. The luggage itself was okay. Nothing was missing. But all of my stuff inside the luggage was broken. I had to buy all new things.”
“Daaaaaamn.” Well, at least you finally made it to Vietnam.”
“Yes. I finally did.” His face hinted at a momentary smile, then it vanished. “But there’s more.”
“More?”
“More.”
“Haven’t you had enough already?”
He laughed. “Yes, I have. These things always happen to me. My sister asks me why these things always happen to me. She doesn’t believe me that they always do, but they do.”
Another long sigh. Then he continued.
“While in Vietnam, sister made me a delicious dessert with coconut. She doesn’t know that I get sick with coconut, unfortunately. I ate it and started to feel sick. I didn’t know why. I asked her, ‘What is in this dessert?’ She said, ‘coconut.’ I ran to the bathroom and had such stomach pains. My goodness I was in such pain.”
I grimaced. He noticed the expression on my face and nodded.
“Yes. I had bad diarrhea. It was such pain. I even had to go to the hospital because I could not stand it. The doctor examined me and said there was nothing he could do. I just had to wait it out. But I kept telling him I was in a lot of pain, tremendous pain. He finally gave me some medicine, but it didn’t help. I just sat in the bathroom for a long, long time, in such pain.”
“Daaaaaamn,” I murmured.
He snipped my hair, looked at it in the mirror, and snipped again. I waited silently to hear more, but he just kept cutting my hair. After a moment, I asked, “How did the rest of the trip go?”
“Oh, it was okay. I saw my family, then flew home without any more problems. Getting there was such an ordeal. But coming home was great. I was so happy to come home.”
That was so not the answer I was expecting. A part of me almost hoped to hear more horrible ordeals. I dunno why. Something about watching a train wreck, that kind of thing.
“My mother,” he started up again. “She wants me to go back again this year. I told her No. I had such a horrible trip, I do not want to go back again so soon.”
“I don’t blame you.”
“Yes. Such an ordeal. Such an ordeal.”
Fortunately, he cut my hair without incident. No lost scissors or explosive diarrhea marred my haircut experience. But stories like that sure have a way of capturing one’s attention. Everybody loves a good, horrible ordeal, especially when it’s someone else’s.
“Do you go to church?”
We stopped in our tracks. Blinked. Our dog pulled on his leash uneasily.
“Do you go to church?” barked the portly woman again. Her brow furrowed. Clutched in her fist was a stack of pamphlets. Dangling from my hand was a bag of stinky, liquid dog poop.
“You guys do go to church, right?” she demanded.
My girlfriend and I exchanged furtive glances. We had just come from a local street fair and were in a good mood. The summer evening air was cozy and warm. Delicious homemade food sloshed in our tummies. Even the dog had a good time with a few organic gourmet doggie treats, though his stool indicated otherwise.
It’s funny how one person can turn an otherwise good day upside-down.
“Sure,” I muttered.
“What? You go to church, right?”
My mind struggled to process this situation. It’s not every day that I’m interrogated on a nice summer evening like this. I nodded.
“Which church do you go to?”
My girlfriend cleared her throat. “It’s… not around here…” she said with a sideways glimpse in my direction. I nodded in consent of the unspoken agreement between us.
“Oh really? But you DO go to church, don’t you?”
This lady was relentless.
“Yea, sure,” I threw into her face. “We go to church, okay?”
She eyed me. One eye narrower than the other.
“Which church do you go to?”
Relentless. My girlfriend and I exchanged glances again. The bag of liquid poop started to feel like a hot potato. I started walking forward, my girlfriend and the dog right behind me.
“It’s not around here,” I barked.
She scowled. Both eyes narrow. “Good,” she stated. “God be with you.”
I shook my head and we pushed forwarded. Her countenance disappeared behind us. The dog farted. My girlfriend and I gave each other another look. We rolled our eyes in unison. Sighed. Then laughed as we walked home.
Do you have any friends who seem to be a lot of drama? Or have a lot of drama in their lives? Or seem to attract a lot of drama?
Sure you do. Everyone does. Drama is what makes the world go round. Everyone has some measure of drama in their lives – and if they don’t, they’ll seek it out from TV soap operas or create it with other people.
But let’s be careful here. The word “drama” is a loaded term. It means different things to different people. Let’s take a look at some of those variations.
At the basis of drama is some kind of interpersonal, social, and/or emotional conflict. Everyone has elements of conflict in their lives, either of their own doing or through outside influences. It’s as unavoidable as back problems and taxes. But that’s not what we commonly consider drama.
Drama, as we typically use the term, is meant for those exaggerated cases far above the norm. It is conflict at high volume. When it is in a story, book or television, it can be very entertaining. When it is between you and family, friends or coworkers, it can be very stressful.
Let’s look at some types of drama. A few of these overlap and hybrids do exist.
- Emotional Drama
- This kind of drama is characterized by seemingly unwarranted, exaggerated emotions in reaction to some event. Everyone reacts to crises differently; some are even-keeled and calm, others rabbit through panic and distress. Emotional drama is the latter variant. An emotionally dramatic person will react with extreme vigor, no matter the degree of the event. House burned down? Aaaaaaa! Spilled some milk? Aaaaaa!
- Passionate Drama
- The cousin of emotional drama is passionate drama, which shares some of its outward appearances. People being passionately dramatic are showing excessive emotion and using intense language to convey their reactions. The difference is that emotional drama tends to originate from an underdeveloped sense of emotional intelligence, whereas passionate drama spills from an extreme emotional bond to a particular topic. Basically, these people are sooo passionate about something that they are not able to accept beliefs that are contrary to their own. Hearing such a contrarian is simply heresy. Aaaaaaa!
- Invented Drama
- A more insidious form of drama is invented drama, the kind that is fabricated because the person is vindictive, or sadistic and bored. You’ll spot this variant when one person attacks another person’s sensitive spots — otherwise known as “pushing one’s buttons.” The purpose is to incite the other person; the more frustrated the other person, the more satisfaction the originator feels. Even if it’s subconscious. People who invent drama may do this in the name of passionate drama, though they are really trying to hurt you, not express outrage. Aaaaaaa!
- Antisocial Drama
- This type of drama is characterized by a pervasive disregard of other people’s feelings and rights. Lying, cheating, stealing, bullying, and abusing with no remorse are all symptoms. At times, they can seem almost sociopathic and narcissistic by the way they callously ignore the feelings of others and only care about themselves. Some are able to hide behind superficial charm or sexual prowess, though if you cross them, they’ll pull out their claws and antisocial drama behavior. Aaaaaaa!
- Identity Drama
- Someone who sees the world in strict black and white terms (no shades of gray) and has identity issues may be exhibiting borderline drama. These people may also have problems maintaining friendships and general relationships. A misalignment in the way they view life and themselves, in other words. Aaaaaaa!
- Narcissistic Drama
- Ever call someone a “ham” or “show-off”? That person was probably exhibiting narcissistic drama, which is typically characterized by an unhealthy load of self-love. They are the center of the world and they want everyone to know it. If you don’t, you will be assaulted by non-strop drama until you do. Aaaaaaa!
- Insecure Drama
- Though it is a bit of a blanket term, those that are insecure may bring with them waves of insecure drama. Such drama can be manifested by obsessive-compulsive clinginess, profuse pessimism, a constant need for reassurances from others, and frequent verbalizations of their ineptitude. The stark opposite of narcissistic drama, they suck and they want everyone to know it. Aaaaaaa!
- Attracted Drama
- Some people unknowingly attract drama, though a handful do it consciously. They either have such plain lives that they seek out “spice” or they tend to befriend people who exhibit one or more types of drama listed here. Their own lives may not have much drama, but encircling themselves with such friends can give them an air of drama. However, since like-minded people tend to cluster together, oftentimes a drama magnet is a dramatic person too. Aaaaaaa!
- Stupid Drama
- There are no such things as stupid questions… only stupid people. Ha! But seriously, some people just do stupid things that happen to trigger drama. Maybe it’s out of ignorance, maybe it’s a lack of tact, maybe it’s an underdeveloped sense of social intelligence or street smarts. Whatever the case, they’ll likely do something that places them or other people in some kind of trouble and conflict. Qualifying for stupid drama isn’t doing something goofy on occasion. A person needs to be doing really stupid things fairly often. Aaaaaaa!
Yes, there are many types of drama and dramatic people in this world. Know your drama and be wary of it. In small doses, it may be entertaining. But a constant deluge can drown you.
Did you know that the Earth was almost struck by an asteroid this week? Unless you follow science news closely, you may have missed it.
The asteroid, designated 2009 DD45, is less than a third of a football field in diameter (approximately 20-30 yards). After watching movies like Armageddon and Deep Impact, that seems pretty small, doesn’t it? It’s no Texas-sized Global Killer like in Armageddon.
The impact of 2009 DD45 would still have been disastrous. “The force of multi-megaton nuclear blast,” wrote one reporter. Striking a city would have leveled it and killed millions. Striking the ocean would have caused a horrible tsunami that devastated coastlines.
Yikes!
To be fair, our planet is struck by asteroids all the time. Most burn up in the atmosphere. Few make it to the ground in the size of basketballs, baseballs, or smaller.
However, in 1908 a large asteroid struck Siberia, near the Tunguska River, with a force 1,000 times more powerful than the nuclear bomb dropped in Hiroshima, Japan. It is believed that this asteroid may have been a few tens of meters in diameter.
Scary stuff. While it doesn’t do any good to sit here worrying about asteroid impacts, the idea of one certainly puts life into perspective.
What if the world were to end tomorrow?
It is a question commonly asked by thinkers and philosophers, usually as a way to guide our actions throughout our current life.
The question is invariably followed by the assertion that every day should be lived like it is one’s last. However, doing that is unrealistic. If the world really were to end tomorrow, most people would be out there, having raging orgies, eating fatty foods, or generally doing all sorts of selfish, indulgent activities they normally wouldn’t do. Perhaps people really shouldn’t live each day like it is their last.
Another answer is to live life without regrets. Unfortunately, that is not a satisfactory answer for many. Living without regrets means there will be a tomorrow with which to feel regret. If the world ended tomorrow, that would be moot.
I believe the answer is somewhere in between each of these. The contentment of living each day like it is your last should be in sync with having no regrets because you’ve done so with honor and integrity. Every time you go to sleep, you should do so with a smile and a clear conscience, no matter your religious and spiritual beliefs.
Why should you live life that way? How about spiritual satisfaction? Honorable livelihood? Or that well-worn cliché: A life of virtue is its own reward.
It may not sound easy to live life this way, but once you do, you will find it easy to. You will not only be ready for the end of the world, but you will be ready for potential judgment in the afterlife too, if such a thing exists.
The end of the world may not be that far off either. Asteroid 99942 Apophis is due to pass by our planet in 2029, most probably missing us. Then it will circle around and come near us again in 2036. The second visit may not be a miss.
99942 Apophis is somewhere between 210 to 330 meters wide – much bigger than 2009 DD45, but fortunately much smaller than Texas. An impact with this asteroid would cause untold destruction around its unlucky impact point.
Fortunately, it wouldn’t cause an end to the world. Pardon my earlier exaggeration. It would most certainly cause an end for some people though. Scientists have already been working on solutions though, a la Deep Impact. From solar sails to adding mass (to alter its trajectory), solutions are being modeled and perfected. With roughly twenty-seven years to plan and build, hopefully they will come up with a viable answer in time.
Let’s go back to the end-of-the-world question again. An assumption it makes is that we wouldn’t have much time to prepare for the world’s end. It would just be upon us suddenly, as a real-life Global Killer probably would do.
Does it surprise you that you didn’t hear about 2009 DD45 until just recently? Such an event ought to make a fair bit of news, right? Sure, the media could have been sitting quietly on this story for months, resisting the urge to break it for the sake of the public.
I’ll wait while you ROFL.
No, clearly the media would do no such thing, whether or not it would be in the public’s best interest. The simple truth is that scientists didn’t know about 2009 DD45 until two days before its apparent impact. Prolific asteroid hunter Robert McNaught of Siding Spring Observatory in Australia spotted it when it was only 1.5 million miles away. Then Timothy Spahr of the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics determined that it wouldn’t be a threat within an hour of its discovery.
In other words, they spotted it then quickly realized it wasn’t going to cause untold destruction. The media probably picked up the story and figured it wasn’t important enough to turn into a major headline.
Perhaps that is a good thing. Who knows how the public would have reacted if they misinterpreted the news as the actual end of the world? Maybe with raging orgies, eating fatty foods, or all sorts of selfish, indulgent activities. Or maybe they would be at peace, having already lived each day like it was their last, with honor, integrity, and contentment. Which would you rather do?
(I know, I know… orgy vs honorable contentment. I really haven’t made a convincing argument, have I?)
